The Onion

4695 readers

376 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

375

Beaverton: Experts warn Trump dangerously close to figuring out where Canada is (thebeaverton.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by GrymEdm@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink hide all child comments

While experts have chillingly predicted that Trump may soon be able to identify Canada on a globe, others have offered hope.

“I don’t often say this as a medical professional, but we’ve really got dementia on our side here,” explains Dr. Arthur Anderson of the Calgary Alzheimers Research Alliance.

Dr. Anderson elaborates, “Given how much of the campaign President Trump spent rambling to Joe Rogan and jerking off microphones, the prognosis indicates that by January he won’t be able to find a bathroom unassisted, let alone Canada.”

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Trudeau’s cabinet is covering themselves in maple syrup to mask the scent.

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

You gotta distract yourself from his used diaper smell somehow!