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Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Carcharodonna@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

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So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 34 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

cw: genitals, just kinda gross

As a former cis dude and current penis owner, I didn't realise until recently how oppressive men being required to wear trousers or shorts actually is until I tried wearing a skirt. I spent years thinking that vaguely warm days just meant my balls and arse were going to turn into the Sudd, when all I needed was some airflow. Everything's just so much better when your balls aren't pasting themselves to your leg with every step.

It's completely incomprehensible how society could convince itself that skirts are for women. I'd happily bet that a majority of men would generally be a in a much better mood if they just wore a skirt when the sun comes out.

[–] mudpuppy@hexbear.net 25 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

skirts only being for women is a very recent change, they've been the default for everyone in most places for most of history

[–] Carcharodonna@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I did once see a company that sells modern utility "kilts" for men but they're pretty expensive and no idea how well they'd go over with most people in reality. Kind of an interesting idea though and tbh I might dig something similar (especially with the pockets) that's more fem.

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

Those are either spectacularly good quality or incredibly overpriced - I've seen plenty of similar utility kilts in the UK for £50-£100. For $400 I'd expect a full 8 yards of handspun tartan.

[–] mudpuppy@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

that's pretty cool, i think this is the best they could do to market them to men. $400 for a skirt is crazy though, they better be made out of the golden fleece

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