this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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Allowing yourself to be wrong. Especially as a male.
Instead of trying to figure out a way to still kind of be correct, you just objectively reconsider the facts.
It made me a better adult. I prefixed a lot of my statements with "I think" or "I believe" to emphasis the possibility for me to be wrong. And I'm more inclined to ask questions. (Which sadly gets a lot of people riled up because they have a hard time believing I'm not doing it sarcastically.)
Try using "to the best of my knowledge", I find it is indicating that your knowledge is not complete.
But it also indicates you have thought of the situation.
This has been a lifelong habit for me and something I respect and appreciate and think virtuous in others, but I'm starting to think I should train myself out of it. Saying "I think", or "to the best of my knowledge" frequently seems to broadcast "I'm just guessing at random without thought" or with some people it seems to convey "I'm wrong about...". It also very often seems to encode "it's best not to listen to the remaining words of this sentence in case my wrongness is contagious".
As frustrated as I sound by this, I kind of get it I suppose. I thought I was indicating humility and a willingness to change the opinions or ideas I express if the conversation partner has reason to challenge them, however it seems in many cases it just indicates a lack of confidence in my statements. They perhaps might argue that they never thought I was arrogant or lacking in humility to begin with and of course I could be wrong, but everyone could so specifically bringing it up or alluding to it unnecessarily like that just suggests you're trying to mask that you have no idea what you're talking about. I suppose one might also say that the willingness to change your opinion in light of a challenge to it is supposed to be a given so there's no point trying to show that either. I don't know if anyone really thinks any of this, but there's probably something like that operating subconsciously.
Good point, but it doesn't have a natural sounding translation in my language, although I do use "as far as I know".
Is bothers mehow intelligence is too often percieved as the opposite.