this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Once you make peace with the reality that they are not the partner/person you perceived them to be, this easier it is to realize they are a mess of insecurities just like you or I perhaps stacked in a different order but nonetheless the hot mess Express even if they seem like they have it together.... I spent years as a young man being pissed at various exes and then realize that the problem was me. I was choosing people that I wasn't good and compatible with whether or not they were good people has nothing to do with my ability to choose. I hope I'm better...
Yeah, the number of extremely successful people that OD on drugs alone, or commit suicide just highlights to me that everyone is insecure, just about different things. Once you realize that, it's a lot easier to interact with other people because they're just the person on the other side of the conversation. I still don't like talking with powerful people (employers, police officers, local leaders, etc), but it helps knowing that they're probably struggling with something themselves.
So yeah, if a relationship isn't working out, either try practicing empathy (assume they're going through some heavy stuff) or find someone with a different mix of insecurities and problems that are more compatible with your own.