this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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I am good with knowing my deficiencies. What sucks is being told that they are my fault because I should be "smart enough to overcome them".
Agreed 100%, being a specialist in something always has led to someone taking a pot shot at your deficiencies.
Or being a jack of all trades and getting potshots for not being an expert in everything just because you pick up the basics quickly.
It's actually insane how many teachers and other education professionals waved me off with 'you're smart enough, just try harder' while I was obviously suicidally depressed and extremely dysfunctional. Having undiagnosed autism because I was a teenage girl in the '00s was fun.
Girls, undiagnosed autism, and suicidal tendencies? Name me a more iconic trio!
People who say that are just trying to be a dick to you. Say something soul-searing to them in response and they'll stop.
Most people just don't understand that being really good at something doesn't mean you can't be terrible at something else. Like, I can problem solve a wide variety of things, but there are a few things that I just have no success at even if I know the problem and the likely solution.
The most infuriating one for me is that if I can't see something then I cannot line it up right. A screw or bolt out of view means I have a 50/50 chance of ever getting it started even though I know how I can move it to fit in. Like I know to tilt and whatever, but without a visual frame it becomes impossible. A ton of people just yell me I am not trying hard enough, even though attempting to learn for decades hasn't worked out for me.
But with even the slightest view I can get it started no problem. Being told I am not trying hard enough is infuriating when I am just being honest that it is my limitation.
Alternatively, I've met plenty of people who are so desperate to climb the ladder that, even knowing full well their deficiencies, they climb to a level where those deficiencies become detrimental for everyone around them.
If you aren't a good organizer, and climb into an organization centric position, that's 100% on you. If you aren't a good leader and take a coordinating position, that's on you. If you aren't good at lining up blind screws, and you knew that was a core competency for your job when you took it, that's on you. It's not that I expect you to be "smart enough to overcome" whatever you're bad at, but you shouldn't be in positions where something you're bad at, but can't overcome, is a major part of your duties.
At that point, yes, I'm going to be "mean" and directly point out your deficiencies.
Can you tell I had a fun meeting today?
It seems like you're describing the phenomenon where people get promoted up until the point where they don't do a good job anymore.
I never knew how people can not see that the position was not for them and still accept it, and even work the job for years.
I could take a job where I had the technical responsibility for what my team makes, but I don't ever want to be anybodys boss. All of that personal stuff on a day to day basis, negotiating pay, etc just isn't for me.
Ah, the ol' "here's the test here's exactly what you need to do to be successful" followed by "lol that was never the real test."