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What is a fair way to split costs when my girlfriend moves in? (I own the apartment) (lemm.ee)

submitted 3 days ago by AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My girlfriend and I are planning to move in together in ~3 months.

I own a small apartment in Amsterdam, my mortgage, heating, water and electricity is about 2000 Euro a month, and I earn 30% more than she does.

Some context: Amsterdam is damn expensive and in an housing crisis, since living here she's been paying about 1000/m to rent a room. Both of us earn quite well and money isn't tight

What is a fair way to split costs? I've heard everything from she should live here for free because I was paying for everything anyway to we should split everything 50/50, and I'm not sure what is fair.

I don't think 50/50 is fair, because the way I see it, I'm going to get back a fair amount of the money I pay to my mortgage when I sell the apartment.

So what is fair? My gut feeling is something like we split the heating, electricity, groceries etc. 50/50. And she pays say 500 Euro a month for living here (less than half what she's used to paying in rent)

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[–] mr_jaaay@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 days ago

I'd agree the sentiment that you're partners, not room mates, though even partners split (or share) things like costs, housework, etc. I'd suggest something like you pay your mortgage and both of you split utilities... or maybe you pay mortgage and she pays utilities, whatever seems fair to both of you. But I wouldn't have her pay me money directly, IDK why but it feels a bit off.