this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
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The Onion

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[โ€“] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io -2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That brat he carries around for assassination defense is going to be the biggest asshole ever. I hope someone poisons him to death before he hits sexual maturity to prevent inevitable rapes.

[โ€“] Z3k3@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

The emo teen phase is going to be interesting when he learns dad only hung out with him as a kid to use him as a human shield