Mental Health
Welcome!
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules
1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.
2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.
3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.
If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.
4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.
If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
- Therapy
Neurodegenerative Disease Support
Friends and Family of People with Addiction
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
Community Moderation
Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.
view the rest of the comments
General advice is to reframe and redirect, you may be "stuck" in a mental mode of refusing to acknowledge possible solutions because you feel broken. That isn't your fault, your life experiences have pushed you to become what you are.
The general advice is given often because it does work for other people, it may not work for you instantly but given enough time and patience you can slowly start to erode the deep deep neural connections that lead you on your thought death spirals.
The human brain is deeply unfair, it is literally designed for inertia, thoughts you have frequently you will have later. But if you can start to redirect every single time those thoughts come up to something more pleasant over a long time you may be able to make stronger connections on those happier thought paths.
Mushrooms or other psychedelic drugs could possibly be an escape hatch for burned in neural pathways, but the science is shaky and I know a lot of people who got just a little kooky after going to hard.
Long story short, there is no overnight magic pill to fix your thoughts. Just treat your mind like a toddler, your negative thoughts like hot irons, and redirect that toddler to a shiny toy or tv show or something (redirect to a positive pattern)
Then I suppose I'm just not fit to be a human being, I'm fully aware of all of this and yet my brain continues to spazz out whenever it wants anyways, I just can't NPC my way through life like everyone else. I wish I was born a bird or something, this is absolute hell.
I legitimately can't feel enjoyment anymore, doesn't matter what I do: exercising, walking, making a drink, going outside, playing, watching a film or reading a book, etc etc. I'm just completely dead inside, reality always sets back in and I realise nothing will change, nothing will get better, I have no future, no life, no hope, I'll forever be alone and outcasted, forever tormented and harassed for things I can't control or predict, forever financially stuck, I don't belong anywhere, everytime I feel even a little bit of joy something comes along and makes sure to shit all over my face and snap me back to reality, etc etc. and saying all of this obviously doesn't go well with others, how dare I seek anything more then the same copy and paste pieces of advice thrown everywhere that supposedly works for everyone but me, how dare I not be normal, and so I get further isolated, further outcasted each and everytime I dare to reach out, it's a vicious cycle that I literally can't do anything about, I'm not rich, I'm not powerful, so I can't ignore the world and go off living in a manor or something, I'm completely at it's whims and whatever the fuck mood people are in at any given moment.
My brain wants connection, belonging, assurance, safety, comfort, the usual needs, and society says no, "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" "keep to yourself" "nobody owes anyone anything" "nobody will fix/save you" galore and more, it's endless, I suffer, society says to "get help", I try to get help, I only get greeted with a "go for a walk" if anything at all, that doesn't make me feel any better, and then I'm seen as whiny or ungrateful or whatever and further outcasted (both online and in real life, real life is far worse and more violent about it though), which makes all my problems worse and I become lost, no anchors, no guides, no safety, no peace, no one, nothing, just endless suffering and loneliness everywhere all at once. So what I was talking about in my initial post isn't just a bad day or something or a short term issue, no, I'm talking about literally failing at life, I'm talking "this has been going on forever and isn't getting any better, infact it's getting way worse", how the fuck are you supposed to pull yourself out of that all by yourself and surrounded by a society that wants you dead for not conforming to it perfectly? With not even professionals giving a flying fuck about you? People PAID to deal with your bullshit and still basically telling you to fuck off and stare at a tree or something? How do you even try to be normal, or self isolated or self reliant or whatever the fuck society is constantly demanding out of everyone - with a brain that's crying out and falling apart and that doesn't want anything to do with society, with humanity, with anything at all?
Well the first thing you gotta do is quit listening to society! Seriously, cut that out. Who cares if you don't conform? There are at least dozens of us who don't, and I'm at the point where I'm ready to take a stand and tell them I'm just as valid as they are. And so are you. Don't let everyone else tell you who you are. Live the way you want to live. And find the other weirdos. Just one friend could make a huge difference.
This used to be my motto at some point before, you know, reality said hello and ended that real quick. That one cares very much about that it seems...
Kinda hard to be yourself or say no to society when your in a position where you have to appease others to not get fucked over in more ways then one, make that tenfold if your society leans conservative (which most of the world does sadly), I don't think I have to explain how society fundamentally works, do I? Unless you got lucky with it, then that checks out, definitely getting that vibe from you. But for me nah, people reaaaallly didn't like that I was different and seemed happy about it at some point, how dare I not be the exact same as everyone else, so they broke me until I couldn't be sane anymore and relentlessly blamed me for it, everything and anything was my fault and my fault alone, no exceptions. Made an example out of me to make sure nothing ever fucking changes here unless it's for the worse. Fun.
Also easier said then done, how tf do you "live the way you want" when you can't afford a home, can't travel, can't rest, can't have any autonomy or agency in your life, can't have any autonomy over your own damn body around others, can't pursue the things you want, can't do half of your hobbies and interests because of money or people being pity pieces of shit and not leaving you be, can't have your own thoughts or feelings or opinions or personality or people WILL launch at you like vultures and tear you down, don't have a soul in your life that even vaguely gives a shit, nowhere to go, no future, abusive shitty family members as the only "welfare" you get, can't do this or that or this or that - and are barely getting by? What? Please explain it to me.
And yeah, it definitely helps, but how exactly do you personally go about that? What's your experience with that? For me irl Is not even an option sadly, and I've had 0 luck online either, not a soul of any form or shape throughout the years, have been alone and lost for as long as I can remember, and my society is as baren as the fucking saharan desert, literally 0 places to socialise or volunteer at, 0 things to do if you aren't stupidly rich or have connections, it sucks, it's only getting worse, this place is hell, and is also very conservative to boot, nobody gives a flying fuck here, everyone is extremely isolationist and already has their established groups, your never finding another weirdo here, you'd need to be someone veeery important or rich for anyone to bother with you socially, and you'll only be greeted by normal people here, nothing else, so it's conform or die all the way.