Mental Health

4463 readers
27 users here now

Welcome!

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.

2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.

3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.

If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.

4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.

If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

- Therapy

Neurodegenerative Disease Support

ADHD

Autism

Fibromyalgia

TMJ

Chronic Pain

Bipolar Disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Friends and Family of People with Addiction

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
1
 
 

Trans-Resources aims to help transgender, non-binary, and other gender non-conforming people find resources where they live. Our goal is to be a directory of advocacy organizations, legal resources, support & social groups, and other resources that service the trans community.

2
 
 

Hey folks. It's me, VubDapple. I'm a (not so active but still present) mod for this community and also a mental health professional. Recently there was some upset at this young community's rule about posts concerning suicide. I thought I'd offer a few thoughts about suicide and where things seem to stand right now. Sorry for the delay in my response; things have been rather busy in my life.

Suicide is a super frightening topic for many people - with good reason. As such, it is difficult to figure out how to manage discussion of suicide in a public and anonymous volunteer forum so that everyone's needs are best met. A few issues come to mind that have to do with such balancing of needs:

  1. How to balance the needs of people who want to discuss their suicidal thoughts against the needs of other people who would be triggered by reading it and would really like to avoid it? Suicidal ideation is really common within groups of people who self-identify as having mental health issues, so on the one hand it is reasonable to discuss it. On the other hand, the very nature of the topic feels dangerous to many, sometimes because it might trigger one's own suicidal thoughts and at other times because there is concern that if not handled properly any discussion could make the issue worse rather than better.

  2. How to know what the risk is that someone who is suicidal might actually attempt suicide? Many people who are suicidal are not in imminent danger, but some really are. Because this judgement is difficult to make, and because no one here including moderators is able to take on an actual care-giving clinical role, it is reasonable for us to treat all suicidal discussion as potentially dangerous.

  3. How to best care for a suicidal person? This community is simply not able to provide any actual suicide prevention service! There is nothing like /r/suicidewatch here at this time! The community is not staffed to care for an acutely suicidal person.

The recent rule adjustment (Rule #4) has been made to try to strike a balance between the competing needs of community members. Basically, it's okay to acknowledge the existence of suicidal thoughts or thoughts relating to self-harm but we want to discourage extended discussion of such topics, precisely because no one here is able to take on an extended care-giving role in the manner a professional caregiver would and because there is a reasonable chance or at least reasonable concern that extended discussion might make things worse than they already are. The best advice that can be given at this time would be to seek professional mental health care.

I can shed some light on how to know when suicidal thoughts are considered acutely and immediately dangerous and when they are not by providing the following psycho-educational information.

Mental health professionals divided the universe of suicidal thoughts into "active" and "passive" categories. I like to offer the metaphor of a "poison flower" to help people recognize how these categories work.

Suicidal thoughts are a developmental process that starts small and grows to become a threat. Think of a flower seedling - it is very small at first - just a shoot coming out of the soil. As it grows it develops tiny leaves and the stem gets larger, the leaves get larger, etc. in a developmental process. Eventually a bud forms, that bud opens and then we have a flower. The universe of passive suicidal ideation is just like this flower during its developmental phase eg., before the flower blooms. The universe of active suicidal ideation is like the flower after it has bloomed. Active suicidality is much more dangerous than passive suicidal ideation.

Passive ideation usually starts with a feeling of overwhelm; a sense that a person simply does not have what it will take to manage the situation they find themselves in. As it grows, the passively suicidal person becomes aware of the thought that they might be better off dead. Often this thought is frightening at first; the people who experience it do not want it there and see it as a sign that they aren't well. A further development of the suicidal process but still passive suicidality occurs when a person finds themselves fantasizing about how they might end their life. The thoughts may still be unwanted and at this phase of the developmental process there can be a sense of a growing struggle between the thoughts of dying and the desire to push those thoughts away. An even further development might occur when a person starts taking seriously the idea that they might actually kill themselves. At this late stage of passive suicidal ideation there may still not be what we call intent, but nevertheless the suicidal person may start researching how they would end their life.

The turning point between passive and active suicidality comes when three criteria are met: 1) there is intent to harm one's self, 2) there is a plan for how the person will harm themselves, and 3) the person has access to the means to harm themselves. The term intent means that the person has come to regard the idea of suicide as something they will carry out. The term plan means only that the person has picked a method for how they will die. You don't need to have a "good" plan (eg., one likely to be lethal) in order for it to count that you have a plan; any plan will do. Finally having access to the means for committing suicide means having access to the tools and materials that the person would use to end their life. When all three of these criteria are met, we mental health professionals consider the person to be actively suicidal. When the criteria are not all met then we consider people to be more passively suicidal.

Suicidal ideation is not a one-way process. People can move from not-suicidal to passively suicidal and then later to actively suicidal, but it is also true that actively suicidal people can exit their active suicidal status back usually to passively suicidal status, and then even later become not suicidal again. It's important to keep this in mind because of what some call the "suicidal trance" eg., the tendency, as a person becomes more and more actively suicidal, to believe that suicide is the only reasonable response to what appears to that person at the moment to be an endless and entirely hopeless set of life problems from which suicide is the only escape. Most of the time it isn't true that the person's life problems are actually endlessly hopeless, but it does tend to feel that way when you're in it.

There is no hard and fast rule for assessing danger here, but the general idea is that passive suicidality is less acutely dangerous than active suicidality; mostly because with active suicidality by definition there is intent to die and the person's energies are marshaled in the direction of finding a way to make that happen in a manner that is simply not the case when a person is more passively suicidal. Passive suicidality is dangerous in that it may become active later on, but most of the time when someone is passively suicidal they are not going to go home and kill themselves any time soon. Active suicidality is a crisis. The actively suicidal person needs help and they need it as quickly as it can be found. A good way to gain that help if there is no other resource around would be to go to a hospital emergency room and tell the staff there that you are actively suicidal. Such action might help best in the short term because at least in the USA (where I am located) the healthcare system is broken and there easily might not be follow up care provided which would be needed, but it might be better than nothing.

What sort of care does a suicidal person benefit from? If you know of someone who is suicidal and the right solution is not immediate hospitalization to contain a crisis that will unfold very very shortly if urgent measures are not taken, then what is the right solution? It used to be the case that mental health professionals were trained to ask suicidal people to "sign a no-suicide contract" whether actually or metaphorically. It turns out that this doesn't help much. These days, in addition to whatever therapy they may provide mental health professionals are trained to help passively suicidal clients by helping them complete a Suicide Safety Plan.

The Suicide Safety Plan is simply a list of resources that the suicidal person can think about when they are tempted by the possibility of harming themselves. It is designed to help a suicidal person to maintain perspective about their larger situation even as the "suicidal trance" beckons them to die, and to remind the suicidal person of the techniques they can use or the resources they can call upon if they are feeling especially tempted.

Anyone can make a Suicide Safety Plan by answering the following questions:

  1. What are the warning signs in your behavior that signal that you are becoming increasingly suicidal?

  2. What are the ways you have available to calm or sooth yourself that might lessen your need to suicide?

  3. What can you do to make the environment safer for you (like getting rid of the means of harming yourself)?

  4. What are reasons for living? Often this one boils down to "Who would be harmed if you were to die?"

  5. Who in your personal life can you talk to about how bad things are?

  6. Who are the healthcare professionals you can call on if things get really bad?

I know what you might be thinking! A lot of people looking at these questions have told me that they can't see it coming, they don't know how to sooth themselves, there are no valid reasons for living, they have no friends or people who care about them and that they can't access healthcare because it is too expensive (which is often true in the profit-obsessed USA unfortunately). Even so, it is worth trying to engage with these questions so as to write out methods and names and resources as well as you can. Even a little bit of hope and a little bit of planning in advance can become critical in a crisis, making the difference between life and death.

A final word about reasons for living. Many times suicidal people have told me that even though they have children or loved ones, that their children will be better off without them alive. Such is the warping influence of the suicidal trance which commonly argues that the suicidal person is and can only be a burden and that children or loved ones will be better off without them. This simply isn't true. Children get FUCKED UP when their parents commit suicide. Loved ones get FUCKED UP when their loved ones commit suicide. Particularly for children who lose their parents to suicide, the effect is to traumatize them rather permanently for the rest of their lives. I have seen it up close and personal. Nothing I might say can make the influence of the suicidal trance less strong, but at least hear me in that this part of what that trance says is a lie. Nothing good comes of suicide except maybe that your own personal pain is discharged. The others around you will suffer. If you don't want to contribute to the suffering of others, please consider looking for another way. That other way might be very hard to find or very expensive to access, but when it is life or death, it's a good investment to make.

General Suicide Information

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/index.html

Suicide Helplines In the USA: call or text 988

https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp

https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Suicide Safety Planning:

https://www.verywellmind.com/suicide-safety-plan-1067524

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-recovery-coach/202306/how-to-develop-a-safety-plan-to-manage-a-suicidal-crisis

3
4
 
 

I figure I should share a little about myself so here goes.

I grew up in a segregated community that also happened to be religious, and as such was raised that way. I no longer identify with who I was raised as. However, due to the nature of my upbringing, my focus was more on growing academically and professionally.

I'm an immigrant, I completed my Masters degree (Chemistry) about a yearish ago, employment was rough but I finally got a job though it's not in my field.

I am taking this as an opportunity to focus on myself, decipher who I am, and getting to know myself better. Hopefully, in time, I'll be able to transition to a job in my field. But it's been lonely, I am in a new town, I left my friends behind, and I have come to realize that I have a rather negative world view.

I have never been with anyone romantically, at least as far as physically is concerned. Dating is not something that I am interested in right now, because I want to focus on "fixing" myself, before trying to meet someone.

I've begun to worry that I won't succeed in life. I haven't attained what I wanted professionally, I'm just starting out in a new country. I have a limited romantic experience. My mind worries that perhaps I made too many mistakes to where I cannot gain the future I had wished for.

Challenge my outlook? Give me your tidbits of information/advice? Thank you for taking the time to read this. :)

5
6
 
 

I've been crying almost daily for a year now, while trying my ass off to keep a stiff upper lip. I've been desperately hanging on to the standard justifications (maybe tomorrow it'll be better, can't let them win, this will pass, won't rain forever, etc., etc.) out of sheer inertia, but I honestly can't say that I believe any of them.

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out which way to take it in life, what to do with myself, but all I feel is the walls closing in. And they're suffocating me. The world is a fucking mess, my life is a fucking mess, I'm completely alone save for a couple of acquaintances with whom I have no true relationship, my close family is entirely dead (which, if I'm being perfectly honest, isn't all that different than when they were alive, except I've been grieving the death of my mother for five years now and it doesn't seem to end), and I'm getting old.

There is nothing which makes me want to wake up in the morning anymore. There is nothing to get me excited anymore. There is nothing to look forward to. And I don't think I'm depressed, because depression felt like letting myself sink in lukewarm tar. This feels like a desperate, rabid sadness, like my soul wants to shred my skin off and just howl itself apart. I can feel my innards wanting to live, truly live, to experience at least some satisfaction, some sort of enjoyment, but I don't know what I could do to get there.

I used to love being creative, but now it's as though that pipeline got clogged up with rotten socks. I used to love interacting with animals, but all I conclude when thinking about getting a dog is that it would be unfair to that poor creature to have it bunk up with my despondent ass. I used to love hanging out with friends, but all of my friends turned out to be people who were only looking out for themselves. I used to love my country, but there's nothing left to love around here anymore. I used to be fascinated by nature, now all I see is how little sense it makes and how worse it's getting due to climate change. I even used to love loving someone, but now I just think about having to go through the process of dating and I'd rather just throw my soul away than have to do that again. I loved smoking weed, now it's just a waste of money, because I'm just as miserable when stoned. I haven't felt joy in... I don't even remember how long, but most definitely not in the past decade...

And I'm so... so fucking tired. I feel more tired than I've ever felt in my entire life. And not "I need more sleep" tired, it's as though I'm one of those old cars abandoned in parking lots, with busted wheels and corroded bodywork, with weeds growing through the upholstery. I don't feel sick, I feel spent. Utterly spent.

And I don't think I can do this anymore.

7
 
 
8
 
 

Hey there, I’m from Germany and have mental health issues such as depression and was wondering how prevalent this topic is in America.

Here in Germany this topic has become extremely normal and pretty much everyone seems to openly talk about it even with strangers sometimes. We have a lot of therapists but it’s often hard to get an appointment since medical care in Germany is free and they have overwhelming numbers of people and the therapists don’t have enough availability to accommodate everyone. The therapists I had so far were pretty good since they really seemed to care about me and often did overtime and such to talk.

I wonder if it’s similar in America that a lot of people go to therapy and openly talk about mental health. What is the situation in America like? Do you have many therapists (especially in rural areas) and how easy is it to get in/finance? Or would you say this topic is generally more frowned upon in America in comparison?

9
10
 
 

Listen. Y'all need to understand something. I know systemic issues are bad right now. But the constant posting of "I'm not supposed to be happy when society sucks!" needs to stop. This is supposed to be an affirming space with positive attitudes towards mental health and mental health treatment in general.

When you encourage others to STOP GETTING TREATMENT because society is bad?? You are posting anti-MH content.

When you say "It's not normal to be well-adjusted to a sick society", you are posting anti-MH content.

The point is not to be "happy". It's to find meaning, build a life worth living, make choices consistent with your values, and manage the stressors of a fucked up society more effectively so that you can actually do something about it.

But instead, I am seeing posters around here telling each other to drop out of therapy because what's the point with Trump in the white house. Are you freaking kidding me???

Please remember that the universe being harsh and society being awful has always been the default. It is our challenge to find a way to thrive in those conditions. If you still don't get it, I encourage you to look into the work of Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who drew from his experiences in Nazi concentration camps. The work of therapy begins with rising above the suffering. Not from turning away from it.

11
12
 
 

You can’t openly discuss suicidal feelings with a therapist, because then they can strip you of your rights and send you to a place that might be the hospital out of One Flew Out of the Cookoo’s Nest - and then charge you thousands for the stay.

The hotlines are the same - a 988 call seems to be “wow that sounds hard” until you say something for them to call 911 on you for.

Inpatient is almost like punishment. “I am so sad that I want to no longer live” - “we’re going to shove you into a filthy room, force feed you medication, and give you fifteen minutes of ‘therapy’ before we send you back to the outside world (without your job now too, because you missed work)”

The almost shitpost of a response I hear is “at least you’re alive!” Yeah - with some more lovely sights and images and smells and sounds that’ll flood my brain when I’m trying to sleep at night.

“It’s just for stabilization! For long term care, you need to seek outpatient services” - doesn’t exist here LOL

Is anything about the mental health care system designed to be functional?

Like, I don’t even want to be dead. I want to be alive, but in a safe place. The likelihood of me getting to a safe place is evaporating more everyday. My family abandoned me almost two decades ago. There’s just nothing for me here. I can go to my LPC twice a month and talk about how stressed out I am - but none of my problems are getting better.

13
28
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by bus4thtoroadxdx@lemm.ee to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
 
 

This is gonna be really venty and whiny, sorry, I'm extremely bottled up so I'm blurting out whatever is on my chest right now, so I guess this is a venting post more then anything else.

TW for everything I guess, I don't know.

spoilerI can't ever find help, I can't ever catch a break, I'm never enough, I'm never allowed to be happy, I'm always judged and bashed, I'm always gaslit and abused by everyone and everything around me, nothing I do ever matters or is enough for people, I'm never ever perfect enough no matter how hard I try, I'm forced to suffer and rot and I have to just accept it and shut up, I'm expected to be a psychic and know everything about everything and somehow magically cure myself and fly to the moon like superman, oh what's that? You need more then "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" to work with? No, fuck you, your a loser and a leech to society, nobody will ever talk to you again lol. it's been driving me fucking insane - it's hopeless, this has been my whole life from birth, I'm stuck in a cage and can't do anything about it while people just stand there and mock me - if they even acknowledge I'm even there to begin with.

"Oh just talk to a therapist bro" I have, they don't care, they either just nod their heads and tell me to take a walk, or start gaslighting and verbally abusing me, literally never anything else, I've been to dozens of hospitals and dozens of therapists throughout my life, and I don't have infinite money to toss around.

"Just self help bro" I have, I'm still depressed and broken.

"Just go outside and make friends bro" outside where? Fucking where?? There's nowhere to socialise anymore, and nobody wants to talk to anybody anymore either, it's all social media shit now.

"Just find a job bro" the economies shit everywhere right now, I don't have any skills, skills need money and time, and I don't have any money, any mental will, or any support of any shape or form to pursue anything that I can actually live off of and that I even vaguely enjoy doing.

"Just call a crisis hotlines bro" there's none in my country, my entire fucking country doesn't give a flying fuck, conform or die, that's all it has to say to me.

"Just reach out to loved ones bro" none, I have none, literally 0, not online, not irl, never in my life, and all my family members are abusive manipulative bastards, they'd rather call the police on me for breaking down from all the stress they put on me then leave me the fuck alone.

"It gets better bro" it hasn't for me, and apparently it never fucking will, things are only getting worse and worse and worse with no hope of anything else.

"Just be normal bro" how? Explain?? Please fucking explain - nope, their already gone, my fault for not being a psychic and instantaneously knowing exactly what you mean and how.

"Reach out and get help bro" where?? Who?? Explain?? Nope, their already gone, nobody fucking cares, it's all bullshit.

"Your not alone" I LITERALLY FUCKING AM IN EVERY POSSIBLE DEFINITION AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN YOU ASSHOLES YOU ABSOLUTE TONE DEAF PIECES OF SHIT YOU DON'T CARE AND WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND STOP FUCKING PRETENDING EVERYTIME I REACH OUT I'M EITHER IGNORED HURT OR TOLD TO SHUT UP FUCK YOU I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING IT if I'm screwed and beyond saving then fucking say it instead of leaving me to forever be lost and confused you cowards, you assholes.

Then of course I'm seen as ungrateful and beratted for saying any of this, I can't do anything but just smile and pretend all of this is gospel, I have to gaslight myself into being "normal" somehow and with no clue of what that even means, I must never even DARE to question any of this or else nobody will ever talk to me or will outright verbally assault me for being worthless trash, how DARE I ask for help beyond a "it'll get better bro", it is utter hell. Nobody actually cares, I just need to shut up and keep my problems to myself I guess, everybody just wants to feel good about themselves and complain about shoe sizes or whatever at most.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me? I don't even feel human anymore, I feel like I'm a cosmic error that shouldn't have popped into existence, everybody knows exactly what their doing but me, everybody understands everything but me, I don't belong anywhere, nobody cares for me and never will, I don't fit anything, I can't do anything, I'm stuck, I'm completely and utterly stuck and there's nothing I can do and not a single clue of where to even start, I'm so fucking overwhelmed it's too fucking much, I just wanna die, this is hell, I can never fucking survive this, I'll forever be alone and suffer, I hate everything, I hate everyone, I'm so sick and tired of it all, I don't want to be here I NEVER wanted to be here I never asked to be born I don't want ANYTHING to do with society anymore just let me die already, just fucking let me die. But no, I'm selfish and ungrateful for wanting that so suffer forever and ever I must, and all the blame be put on me, never anything or anyone else. Nope. I'm the problem. I'm always the problem. I deserve this. I don't deserve a future or autonomy over my body or life. I don't deserve to be heard. I'm at most just labour or a slave to someone or something else. So smile I must.

14
7
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Lost_Soul@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
 
 

^([Pls don't be mad at me for posting multiple times, this just helps me process my situation since I don't have anyone in my life so if you don't care just ignore the post.])

Being born in 2003 I experienced a glimpse of the world when everything wasn't hyper connected and everyone didn't yet have a phone with all these addictive social media apps and I really miss those times.

Having a very addictive personality and suffering from depression, ADHD and OCD it seems impossible for me handling the freedom of being an independent adult in this modern world. I recently posted something that it feels like everything nowadays is designed to maximize capital at the cost of harming people.

Basically early on in my childhood I developed an addiction to technology getting my first Nintendo and basically having no restrictive parenting which made me watch TV everyday all day long since I was a kid (also to escape the trauma I experienced).

Now I'm in this dark hole where all I do day by day is waking up, consuming media, watching porn and listening to very depressing music for years. And it is eating me up. It doesn't give me any joy anymore and it feels so uncomfortable.

But the fact that I become more and more miserable and insecure strengthens this urge to escape reality and makes it impossible to stop. And I guess I'm just too weak to change it. I lost my hope in life years ago when I gathered all my inner life that was left in me and shared my feelings with a girl I fell in love with but she didn't share those feelings (even though she showed strong affection towards me before) which created the ultimate insecurity and destruction of my self worth/believe in me and took away the last little bit of light in me.

I always had this inner craving of getting rid of all the external tech and artificial stimuly and just living in nature almost like an animal. That might sound strange but biologically we're not much different from our "caveman" ancestors and living the "new-way" in this modern society feels so wrong and unnatural to me. Even if it was just for a few times a week I would love if I could just be outside in nature with similar minded people and somehow just live "primal" like hunting animals, climbing/jumping things and just having fun together like playing in a lake etc. That's the deep urge inside me but I can't fulfill that because I don't see a way for that in this society.

And it is only getting worse with all these upcoming technologies like VR and AI that give me nightmares. I don't want any of this since it feels so uncomfortable to me but I feel like it's being forced on us and being so miserable and hopeless makes me addicted to it. And it's this easy way of passively experiencing and being part of something that made me search for answers at the wrong place since I thought the tech might make me happy and used it to feed my misery. And I think I'm nothing without the tech.

I feel like I basically sold my soul to the pleasure and live in pure misery waiting for my life to finally end, but it doesn't. This slow death is so painful.

The fact that I had all these potentials like being somewhat smart, athletic etc. makes it even worse that I'm wasting all these opportunities with this content consumption. I used to go to the gym and had somewhat of a life but that faded away with said disappointments and the misery I'm feeling.

I don't take any drugs and I don't even eat unhealthy food like candy but I just can't get rid of the tech. There also is this strong fear of missing out and not being "ahead"/"smart" by knowing about the latest tech but the strongest thing is the fear of facing the world/reality with all my insecurities and being disappointed and embarrassing myself cause I'm not likable/capable enough and getting rejected/not fitting in.

But no matter what I tried I can't escape the pleasure since I don't have any restrictive guardian and I'm incapable of doing that for myself.

I wonder if anyone else here has similar experiences like this or has any thoughts on it.

15
 
 

Key points you should know

  • It is very common for people with Long COVID and those taking COVID-19 precautions to experience grief over lost intimacy with friends. In a Sick Times survey of 2,586 people, 81% reported having lost friends over differences in COVID-19 precautions.
  • Disability studies scholars say there have always been people who were not able to risk going out in public, but COVID-19 is leading many more people to experience the ableism of our social world.
  • Being hurt by friends who do not take COVID-19 seriously has made many people afraid of the emotional risks of making new friends, leading to even more loneliness.
  • Making friends with other disabled people can be one powerful way of combating isolation. “Access intimacy” refers to the support that comes from having another person understand access needs on a deep, nonjudgmental level.
  • Letting go of friends that do not share values (around COVID-19 or other things) and focusing on specific relationships where COVID-19 practices are aligned can lead to overall better relationships. One way to do this is to join a local clean air collective or mask bloc.
16
 
 

Hi, I 21/male have depression, ADHD and most likely also OCD.

No matter what happens I constantly think about the smallest things that they ruined my life and that I can't progress/let go of them without being perfect.

I destroy my whole life that way cause this always prohibits me from enjoying life because I always will find a thought and reason why I can't commit to life and enjoy it.

It could be the silliest thing like I can't follow my passion because someone criticized me or something.

Like if my brain constantly searches a reason for why something might ruin me.

I have this feeling of being unable to do stuff when something didn't work/turned out the way I wanted it to, like as if there is this barrier that paralysis me. I think that something I did (or someone else did) ruined my life and that I can never undo it anymore. And I have so much shame and regret over my actions.

I obsessively always see the worst of every little thing and it doesn't make any sense and mostly is completely unreasonable.

I'm wasting my whole life time and miss all the great life opportunities which I deeply regret.

Is there any way I can escape this toxic negative cycle that keeps me stuck in this overthinking?

Because it's like my brain constantly finds a reason to not do the stuff that would actually help me and take me forward.

17
 
 

I'm a 21 year old guy and struggle with depression for my whole life because of traumatic things I experienced from my parents.

About 2 years ago I completely lost all my spirit and willingness in life. I fell into this dark hole where I'm not able to do anything on my own anymore and had to move back to my parents since I wasn't able to live on my own anymore.

Since then I spent the full 2 years completely alone in my room every single day and haven't been outside or met anyone since. I only get outside maybe once a month to buy groceries but except from that I don't see the world anymore, have no activities to do and live with pure hopelessness, no money and very little food.

Even though my family knows all that and I'm crying out for help, no one is helping me. I've lived in many facilities before, went to therapy and have a psychiatrist but all they do is talk but that's it. I tried my very best but realized that I'm just not capable to live on my own.

And then all my parents do (especially my father) is treating me the same way like when I was a kid that caused my depression in the first place by letting out their dissatisfaction/frustration with themselves on me and baselessly blaming/criticizing me for every little thing. And all that is just making it so much worse and harder for me to get out of the situation.

They let me suffer in hell until I go insane or die.

I don't understand why this world is so cruel. It feels like no one cares about people who suffer.

I don't get that. If I was better off and knew someone in such a situation I would do everything to help them and give them what they need. Why is no one helping and just let you suffer like that?

18
19
20
 
 

cw sucidal thoughts

spoilerI just feel like in general no one cares about me, and I think it's time I admit that everyone in my life exept maybe my mom is better off without me, and that me being dead would be seen as a blessing one day. I know it's my fault me and my friends drifted apart, everyone thinks im weird once again but no one says anything cause I am suicidal, the truth is I should of kept my depression to myself, and tried to remain as a far away emotionally as possible instead I told them about my truama and how I felt. That was such a huge mistake, no I feel like everyone avoids me, and tbh I am huge werido who does not deserve to exist, I am "trans" which means taking hrt and looking like a man, dispite being on hrt for 3 years my genetics are cursed and I look like a cursed crossbred ass creature instead of a person, I am an abosute disgrace to the trans community. but anyway I told my friends that I was sucidal and they did the usual worry, but I realize now that they genunely think I am weired, also I am austisic and extwermely socially awkward. I honestly feel like I am perhaps worse than chris chan maybe. I genunely am aware though and actively hate myself for what I have become. today it really hit me when no one was interested in letting me use their phone charger cause of course my peice of shit self left it at work and will likely have to buy a new one now. I have curly hair but my dumb ass did not maintain it and now it's matted beyond anything I can do myself, I am exteremly broke due to some car related shit and cannot afford to get ap rofessintal invovled, if my mom saw it she would panic cause she would know I was depressed but she handles my depression by being depressed about it, so I don't think she will help me. In terms of methods, ive considered a couple, one was to try to shoot myself in the head with a 9mm, however I have seen videos of survivors of shooting themselves and I feel like I would be misrible, I have also considered maybe crashing my car at high speeds into a solid object, I drive a pruis so it would take a minute to reach 100mph if it can even get there and I am not even sure if that would produce enough force to kill me. I am genunelly intrested cause I don't really see a way out anymore. everyone secretly hates me, and I genunelly have nothing else to turn too, no one who cares honestly.

21
 
 

I have chronic anxiety and PTSD from my time in the service. When the pressure in my chest gets two great. I end up watching a Sad movie and just ugly cry and I get relief for a few hours. Like as in zero symptoms then it all rushes back like someone is filling my lungs with water but it's better for about a month give or take .

Then I do the whole thing over again. Schindler's List and Grave of the fireflies are my go to's.

I'm a dude that has no problem crying but I do have a hard time feeling things. Disassociating is a bad habit I picked up when I was in the army so I just slip into it without realizing and have to work my way out of it.

My question is the act of crying tears running down my face feeling my tear ducts flushed afterwards really a release or is something else going on here?

22
 
 
23
 
 

Hello there. I'm a 21 year old guy with strong depression and many insecurities. I'm always trying to be perfect and my biggest fear is to be a bad person. I'm not a pedophile at all. For me it's the exact opposite because I hate pedophilia and think it's the most disgusting thing in the world.

So I accidentally did something stupid that I shouldn't have done and due to my paranoia and overthinking I can't stop thinking and worrying about it.

Recently I played this game called Roblox that I occasionally like playing. I played some online game (within Roblox) where you are a cartoony lion and roleplay with other people. Idk why but sometimes I'm quite childish and troll on the internet. So in the game I thought it would be funny to play as if I want to make a baby with another lion so I jumped on other lions and did this mating motion. I've seen other people doing this before and didn't think too much about it and just thought it was funny. But there is this text chat in the game and when I jokingly asked if someone wants to mate and jumped on them they called me a pedophile for doing this and the fact that I'm 21 cause they were saying it's a kids game and they're kids. Somehow I just didn't think about that at all that they might be kids (I must've assumed they were adults) and felt really bad about it. Idk how serious they actually were cause I later experimented in another game by just telling my age and they also called me a pedophile literally just because of the fact that I play the game as a 21 year old even though the game has no age limit and I know many adults playing Roblox who experienced similar things since that game literally came out in 2006 where many of the adults were kids themselves and grew up with the game (I was 2 at that time). It's like someone calls you a pedophile for playing Minecraft as an adult.

But now I deeply shame myself and regret that I did this. I literally just wanted to do something funny and didn't think about that they might be kids. But it was stupid that I was doing that. And it really hurted me of what they accused me of cause they were saying I'm a pedophile, that I'm Drake, that I need to get a job and need to shower etc.

I know that I don't have the slightest pedophile thoughts but this experience made me extremely paranoid and I can't stop thinking about this every day. I wish this would've never happened.

Idk how I should deal with this and how I could get rid of these thoughts. It feels like since that happened I ruined my life and made my soul dirty and can never undo this!

24
 
 

Went to renew my driver's license today only to learn that I had a mental health hold put on me

Now I have to jump through a bunch of hoops to maybe be able to drive again in several weeks

So much for de-stigmatization, that'll teach me not to tell people about my problems

25
 
 

I still want to die and I feel like my friends who wanted me to get help are better off without me. Today I was sitting on the couch venting about some car related stuff, than how I was anxious about not getting a job in our new city, than without warning everyone leaves I feel like they got tired of me venting and just left. If I ask they will deny it but I know I’m a burden and I really wouldn’t blame them if they kicked me out if I went to the phycward and lost job. I feel like they don’t want me to die but also don’t know they are better off without me and I’m mentally abusive cause I vent and I tire people out but no one can say anything cause I’m suicidal.

view more: next ›