The quote is translated and may be apothrical, but the comparison still stands:
this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
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The couch loves you back. The couch loves you back. The couch loves you back. The couch loves you back. The couch loves you back.
I would’ve been very disappointed if the first comment wasn’t about his couch-fucking tendencies. Thank you for your service.
"I did not have sexual relations with that couch!"