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Did you go straight into being a pro footballer? Or did you have back up plans? Like "if this doesn't work out, I'll be an electrician" or something?
I've never had super lofty goals, but my parents always supported me in what I wanted to do. They never tried to steer me, but they did ask pertinent questions about what I was planning at various points. Probably to hint at bad idea.
I feel like I could have asked them for money/support at any point for any of my projects/ideas/whatevers, and - after making sure I was serious - would have helped out however they could.
I have a very unique career at this point, and I am only in this position because of the eclectic experience I have. And it is completely unrelated to my dreams as a kid or what I studied at university.
Ultimately, he is growing up. He's going to have to make mistakes.
I'd say you have to be prepared to support him as much as you can in his dream of being a pro footballer.
Maybe he won't be a pro footballer, but he might get a satisfying career out of being football-adjacent. Medic, science, coaching.
Or maybe he will try it for 5 years and eventually realise it's not gonna happen, and be an electrician.
Or maybe he will struggle for 2 years, realise he needs to double down, and make the cut a year later.
I had a friend when I was growing up that dreamed of being an RAF pilot. Everything he did was around that.
Due to some unfortunate life circumstances, that dream was ripped away in the space of a week. Completely out of anyone's control, but he could no longer qualify as an RAF pilot.
He was heartbroken. He's now an engineer/mechanic in the RAF and loves tinkering with cars.
He shouldn't find another dream.
But he should be aware that dreams don't always come about. And if this dream doesn't, would he be happy in an adjacent career? Or something else entirely?
Help him research the backup plan.
Our circumstances are very different. I’m from a dirt poor family. Football was a free / cheap sport to practice. I was also not very academically inclined. For me it was football or nothing, no backup plans, as I wanted to make money. I dropped out of school & moved into the club’s dorms to fully focus on that. I didn’t really have any other options. He, on the other hand, has all the resources and support in the world to choose any other path. He’s also doing great in school.
Could he have any interest in taking on other roles, like training or management? If he's doing great in school, and has a direct connection to learning the ins and the outs of the industry through you, as well as connections, he could have a significant leg up.
I don't think you're a jerk. I think you're extremely fortunate. A guy in my old neighborhood had no backup plans, and one injury with permanent repurcuasions left him angry, bitter and hostile, also violent. I think you did the best you could on the spur of the moment, that's fine. You are free to adjust as you seek wisdom. Best of luck to both of you!
Sounds like you have had a very productive life! Your son is very lucky.
Encourage the education. But there are loads of good careers that don't need university degrees.
And all the while, he can try and achieve his dream.
From personal experience, university wasn't useful for me - other than giving me time to figure out what I don't want to do, and meeting friends that are still friends to this day.
But I could've easily done an apprenticeship, or gone straight into some industry/company. Some days, I wish I had. Other days, I wouldn't want to be doing anything other than what I am atm.
Dream case, he makes it.
Best case, he figures out what he wants to do by 21.
Worst case, he's still figuring it out when he's 25.
I wasn't making decent money until I was late 20s. Even now, I can't guarantee I have enough work next year. It's extremely likely, but I'm self employed so...
Knowing my folks will still support me means I can continue pursuing interesting, useful and innovative things, even in my 30s - even tho the support is no longer required.
Maybe talk to some of your contacts in the football industry.
See if they have similar "football or nothing", or if they had backup plans.
Talk to some managers, coaches, sports scientists, medics etc.
Ask them how they would get into pro football. Ask them what happens to pro-football aspiring players that don't make the cut.
Use your experience and connections to help and support your son. And be there if it doesn't work out.
You might know better, but he still has to learn. The best lessons are mistakes.