Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Place where you have most of your friends…
Used to xmpp, but it died naturally over the time and someday I just stopped my prosody server. Nowadays - a bit of IRC (few friends still are there) and discord (not selfhosted, but from all the alternatives… feels best).
I mostly love discord. I wish it could be self hosted with federated identities, though.
Have you tried Revolt.chat?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the app only works with their hosted version, and I assume the selfhosted version doesn't let you join different instances with the same account, right?
Basically, there's no point in going to something I won't be able to convince my friends to be on.
AFAIK, It has a Discord bridge. So friends using discord will be able to interact with you on your server. You can selfhost, accounts aren't federated (like Lemmy), posts aren't federated on other servers (unlike Lemmy).
Innnteresting. Thank you; I will check that out.
XMPP didn’t really die a natural death, it was kind of murdered. It’s still around though, and works great, but of course the problem is as you mentioned — your friends probably aren’t using it.