this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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The original Bri Larson tweet makes me think of a recent post on lemmy that showed younger men are less and less likely to ask women out in person. Some people in the comments said "hey it's ok to approach women in public just be ok with them saying no" but when I read what women say about being approached in public (like bri larsons tweet here) I get the feeling that I should never approach women in public because I'll make them feel scared.
I'm not talking about the top tweet where a guy is memorizing your address, that is creepy, I understand that, but the guy in the bri Larson tweet wasn't being creepy, just shooting his shot right? Or am I way off here?
"Approaching in public" can mean so many different things. What most women have a problem with is being approached in a situation where the man has some form of power over her. For example a cashier or server has to be friendly and smile or she will risk her job. Being approached is uncomfortable, because too many men don't understand it when the no comes with a smile. They are also in a position of power, because they can complain about her or make a scene and get her in trouble.
In this case the TSA agent has some form of power over her and could give her trouble if she refuses. She has no way of knowing if a "no" will be met with understanding or with him holding her up, being insistent, keeping her from passing. That's what makes it especially uncomfortable.
I think even if it's not one of these situations, being approached is uncomfortable unless you are interested in the person. People are way more isolated now and less socially aware, which means half the people who do approach will not understand when the other person isn't interested, and end up making it a bad interaction for both people rather than just a short uncomfortable one.
Being isolated also makes people act stupid, which makes them ask out their server cashier etc even if they know they shouldn't. They just need someone to be with, and they see a positive interaction and go for it. It's like someone who's starving stealing a lot of your food, it's still their "fault" but it's not really surprising they would do that.