this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Somebody needs to just wave something shiny in front of him to distract him from this stupid idea.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 13 points 14 hours ago

Next up on truth social:

ONE OF MY SUBORDINATES JINGLED HIS KEYS IN FRONT OF ME FOR HOURS. I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS MUCH ENJOYMENT IN MY LIFE.

MAKE JINGLING KEYS GREAT AGAIN!

[–] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 14 hours ago

An put a tariff on movies so he doesn't do it again! Oh, wait...