I didn't go to the ceremony. The only reason I even got the associate degree is because I'm transferring universities for my BS in the fall, and the new one wanted me to retake some Gen Ed classes (they can't if I already hold the degree).
But, my lab partner texted me during the ceremony and now I really don't know what to do with myself.
I don't understand how I managed to keep my 4.0 with all the problems I've had over the last year or so. I was hospitalized last year for my mental disorders. This year I've lost my ability to walk and I still don't know why, despite 30+ appointments between January and now.
I feel like I should celebrate somehow, because there was a lot of sweat and tears involved in getting my school work done to a level I was satisfied with. But I have no one to celebrate with. And I don't even know what I want to do for fun anymore lol
I'm so proud of my lab partner because she's made it into a graduate program at the school I'm transferring to, and she earned her BS with magna cum laude today. That's nothing to sneeze at because I know how difficult our program is lol. When I met her in our freshman year she was a very self-conscious teen, but she is such an incredibly elegant, insightful young adult now, and I'm lucky to call her a friend.
I sat for a bit and thought today, because my only plan has been to graduate with a 4.0 and then kill myself. Because I just wanted to throw my academic ability in the face of my parents, who said I wouldn't amount to anything, before I die. Maybe I could have done this twenty years ago if they had gotten me adhd treatment, but the point is I could and did do it. But the associates was a technicality, like you said. I have a year left before I earn my bachelor's. Then maybe I can finally rest