Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I think it depends where you are in life.
OP mentions dating and jobs. It sounds like they don't have a spouse, or a job they're good at. OP is probably having a hard time meeting someone and getting an interview.
When I grew up, applying for a job meant competing with the dozen other applicants who had dropped off their paper resume. Now it means competing with an entire database full of people and convincing a screening algorithm that you're qualified. That sounds tough.
It is tough, but I've lived this way my entire life. Dating was competitive when I was dating, and I did not compete for women. I know of at least one girlfriend who left me because I wasn't willing to fight for her attention.
Same with jobs. I've had my current role for 3 years. I remember paper resumes, but I haven't used one since my first job. I've worked many jobs, even had my own business for a while, and my lack of competitive drive has certainly shaped the course of my career.
But I've never stepped on anyone to get ahead. I've never cheated anyone, or taken advantage of a client. I've had opportunities to take things I hadn't earned, and I let those things go. I've never missed a baseball game or ballet recital, never chosen work over my kids or my wife. I haven't always made the right choices, but I'm not ashamed of any of them.
Competition is healthy. Stong winds make strong trees. But a competitive spirit can cause people to compromise their values to win. Success isn't always winning. Success is being the best person you can be.