this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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[โ€“] thatonecoder@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Keep in mind that this happens in many (specially โ€œromanceโ€) languages, because such gender is grammatical, not literal (unlike in English, where he and she are very much so). For example, in Portuguese (my native language), I can refer to a person as a โ€œpessoaโ€ (โ€œfeminineโ€ word gender) โ€” and I can use this to make a grammatically correct, gender-neutral sentence: Ela (essa pessoa) parece bastante simpรกtica. (That person seems quite nice.)

It does not assume gender, as previously mentioned. Since English does not follow the same rules (he/him and she/her refer to actual gender), you can optionally avoid using they/them by using that person's name (or pseudononym): โ€œthatonecoder has some cool projects, although they (the projects) seem to have some flaws. That user seems to be nice, so I might point out some of those issues, in a respectful manner!โ€ (yes, oddly specific example, but I am not very creative, and this gave some ways to refer to a specific person without either using they/them, he/him, or she/her.

Although this video isn't made by me, it is particularly insightful, so I thought I'd share it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf-R7UywbXU

Sorry about this essay, but I really wanted to point this out! If you do have any questions, feel free to ask them!

[โ€“] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sorry about this essay, but I really wanted to point this out! If you do have any questions, feel free to ask them!

You're replying to someone with AuADHD. I generally have to edit down things before I post and still end up with a fucking novel :D

Thank you for the long and thoughtful reply.

[โ€“] thatonecoder@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Thanks for your reply, too! I wish every person was as nice as you โ€” sadly, the world is still fucked up, and will remain so, for a long whileโ€ฆ