Melbourne

My sister, a week ago, who has her own place but comes to visit on the weekends: Mum, I'm going to dog sit for a friend this weekend so I'll be staying over at hers

Mum: OK

My mum today: we have a dog here and you're going to sit someone else's dog? I can't even go away and have a weekend for myself because I have to watch him. He doesn't even want to go for a walk more than 100 metres!

Sister starts feeling guilty and anxious and has a panic attack. I get that my mum is sick of having to look after the dog and is annoyed, but my sister told her she was going to dogsit a week ago, and my mum said nothing about going away this weekend.

I thought my emotional regulation problems were just an innate thing, although I reckon if my parents could regulate their emotions and communicate better, it would've been a bit easier on my end.

My mum grew up in a household where her parents fought and her mum in particular cannot regulate her emotions and often goes from 0 to 100 in an instant. If this woman says anything and you disagree, she throws a fit. She has no self-awareness whatsoever.

But I hope that if I ever have kids, I break this cycle. I fear I'm already too much like the bad parts of my parents. It's not on.