this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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Quick question: How many times do tragedies like the one you linked occur? How many times do tragedies occur because women were not paying attention to that inner voice saying "this guy is a creep"?
I have no idea and I'm not saying to ignore that voice, I'm urging people to remember that when dealing with "this guy's a creep" feelings thats a gut feeling, not evidence that he's done anything actually wrong. I still remove myself from those situations too. I give strange men berth on the sidewalk and if they're speaking to themselves I adjust my route to avoid them. I rarely respond to strange men who speak to me even. But I keep in mind that my fear of someone doesn't indicate wrongdoing on their part.
The fear of women in privileged classes is used as justification for violence against members of marginalized groups. Here's a JSTOR link to a 2002 paper on it in racial contexts. Straight and cis women's fear is used to discriminate against gay and trans women.
Calls for people to remember proportionality in fear responses are intersectionally valuable. So, if you are scared, remove yourself from the situation with escalating force if needed, but I will again reiterate the need to remember that our gut feelings are not evidence that someone did anything wrong or had any intent to. If they try to stop you from leaving, that is something wrong that they're doing, if they follow you as you flee, thats something wrong they're doing.
Well, yes. Don't start with gunfire.
But that's pretty much not an issue in most of the world. Most people don't open up with gunfire. That's a problem in a very, very, very small number of nations on the planet.
Yep there's a world of difference between "I'm gonna exit" and shooting someone in the head. Plus we only have her word that's what happened, he can't tell us