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If someone's pronouns are any/all, what should I use or how should I determine how to refer to you and what pronouns to use? (monyet.cc)

submitted 1 year ago by DragonWasabi@monyet.cc to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I want to be respectful but if they say they don't care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to "they" because choosing a gender for them feels weird... am I wrong?

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[–] Jackthelad@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I've never understood the fuss over pronouns, because if I'm talking to you I'll refer to you by your name. And if I'm referring to you in a conversation with someone else, I'll refer to you by your name, but if I used any pronouns you wouldn't hear it anyway. 🤷

[–] putoelquelolea@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Right. Speaking about people in the third person is rude

[–] Jackthelad@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Exactly. I was taught as a kid that saying he/him or she/her while the person is in the room with you is rude. That's why I use their name and find all this fuss bizarre.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee -1 points 1 year ago

Signaling. From a respect perspective I just call people what they want to be called, but I will rarely apologize for misgendering someone accidentally.