this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

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[–] _thisdot@infosec.pub 50 points 6 days ago (8 children)

Here are the steps

  1. Don't be ugly
  2. See step 1
[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 38 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (7 children)

It's

  1. Be attractive
  2. Don't be unattractive

Just not being ugly isn't enough, you gotta be actively hot.

[–] Zannsolo@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I'm not hot. I'm not ugly, but also not hot and had plenty of dates from dating apps when I was on them.

Good job, not a slob, decent bio, and quality photos of myself.

I was also really selective in who I swiped on. I didn't swipe right on every hot chick. I swiped right on girls I found attractive and best guess from profile lifestyles were similar.

I went out with plenty of attractive women, hooked up with a handful and dated a few. I also went out on plenty of bad dates, the girl who carried a dead lizard she found on the ground. The autistic racist. The girl with gnarly teeth.

Then I randomly met my wife through a coworker.

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