this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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No. Your intestines are not rigid enough to withstand a vacuum strong enough to move liquid rapidly through you. Just look up any story about someone who sat on the drain valve of a pool and had their colon and parts of their large intestines sucked out their anus.
Do not go near those pool drains, no matter how good you think they feel on your butt. Those things will suck the intestines right out of you.
I'll....take your word for that.
And then never had calamari again once they broke free
Maybe once all the intestines get sucked out you'll become straw-worthy?