this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023

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Atheism

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Christian roulette (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago by atheist@feddit.de to c/atheism@feddit.de

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[–] rynzcycle@kbin.social 47 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (11 children)

During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, "Please give me some of your son's mandrakes."
-Gen 30:14

Umm... what the hell do I do? What's a mandrake?!

Random Verse Generator, who's next?

ETA: I googled

The alkaloids make the plant, in particular the root and leaves, poisonous, via anticholinergic, hallucinogenic, and hypnotic effects.

Yeah, I'm goin' to jail.

[–] AWildMimicAppears@kbin.social 16 points 9 months ago

Acts 16:3

Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek.

oof, jail it is.

[–] Thepinyaroma@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Exodus 35:3 Passage: "Do not light a fire in any of your dwellings on the Sabbath day."

Well, not jail at least.

[–] blacknails@sh.itjust.works 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I got Acts 13:10

"You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord?"

Wtf am I supposed to do with that information

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 11 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a free pass to me. God hates you already so just fucking have at.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Leviticus 19:21

Passage: The man, however, must bring a ram to the entrance to the tent of meeting for a guilt offering to the LORD.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like you will have to apologize for problems at work that you cause with livestock.

[–] boeman@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It could mean you need to steal your neighbor's truck.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Steal the neighbor's truck to apologize for the first thing, then say sorry to the neighbor by giving them livestock.

[–] Random_German_Name@feddit.de 4 points 9 months ago

Psalms 80:3 Passage: Restore us, O God; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.

Guess I have good chances of winning

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

First one that's am actual command:

Psalms 136:3 Passage: Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.

[–] Ubermeisters@lemmy.zip 4 points 9 months ago

His love endures forever while your pathetic body crumbles

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Isaiah 5:22 Passage: Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

God in a night out: I fucking love you guys and I fucking love the bartender!

Bible writers: Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Woe, is me!

[–] Nalivai@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

When the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?

Ok, I'm fine till winter

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

1 John 2:17

Passage: The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever

I live to see another day

[–] Dagu@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

Joel 3:8 Passage: I will sell your sons and daughters to the people of Judah, and they will sell them to the Sabeans, a nation far away." The LORD has spoken."

So I need to get some slaves and sell them I guess

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

It's genocidin' time!

Joshua 9:24 They answered Joshua, "Your servants were clearly told how the LORD your God had commanded his servant Moses to give you the whole land and to wipe out all its inhabitants from before you. So we feared for our lives because of you, and that is why we did this."