this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
118 points (100.0% liked)

Autism

8131 readers
86 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the "Hey What's Going On!" daily post.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.
  10. No bots. Humans only.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Lexam@lemmy.world
118
I don't understand why I can't be blunt. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by larsthespacepirate@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
65 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

lemmy deleted my completely finished post right before posting so let's try this again. I find it so annoying that I have to sugarcoat everything. I feel like I'm coddling people. I understand being polite to strangers, but it's so annoying when my family, who knows I'm autistic, gets upset at my bluntness. I've explained multiple times that I'm not trying to be rude and I'm just trying to communicate in a way that works for me, but it doesn't work. I just don't understand why I have to say "hey, would you mind not letting the dogs tangle? thank you:)" in some high pitched voice when I could just say, "can you not let the dogs tangle?" in a tone that conveys I'm serious. it's so much easier when intentions are simply stated.

edit: I'm having trouble posting comments but thank you for all your responses! it's helping me see things a bit easier, and I definitely have things I can work on now :)

another edit for clarity: my family and I have talked about my communication style. I've tried to find ways to meet them in the middle, as I want a compromise. they've been unsuccessful but I'm continuing to try. I want to be at a point where it's not stressful and exhausting to talk to my family. this was more of just a vent post, as I was feeling really annoyed.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] aJazzyFeel@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

The biggest success I saw was when I permanently changed "can you not (insert thing)" to "Please don't (insert thing)." Also, no longer using that high pitched tone but "using my tummy voice" helps me feel more grounded without stomping my feet. Others tell me it feels more authentic when I use my words with that voice, and it comes off more like the "real me." It took about 4 years to get used to it, but now it feels good!