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this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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So what is it called if someone is 35, lives with their parents, and has never had a job in their life? Not even a part time job or anything. Literally never worked for a single dollar. Not trying to start a fight, just genuinely curious and want to learn.
I had a friend like this and the only word I could find to describe him was lazy. Eventually I had to cut him out of my life for completely unrelated reasons, but this was where he was at the last time I talked to him maybe 4 years ago.
He would complain that he had no money to buy things and have fun with friends, and I would suggest something like a part time job at a fast food place, or a grocery store, or anything. And he would say no because those types of jobs are beneath him, and he wants a good job like being an artist for video games. But he wouldn't take the time to learn those things and develop those skills. He would just play video games for 16 hours a day, only taking breaks to eat and smoke weed, and then go to sleep, rinse and repeat.
Too bad you are getting a fight /s
Crap I hate when nuance gets in the way. So yes laziness can exist on an individual basis. Though would you call this lazy or did his parents fail him. Providing an environment where he was rewarded/coddled without having to put effort in. Also I find that sometimes people like this have undiagnosed mental health issues and are self medicating.
What we are talking about here is laziness as a concept when applied to a group of people. The poor for example. Where is it not their willingness to work that keeping them down, but giving them the label of lazy is justifying not providing them with the opportunity/help that would let them succeed.
If you want to learn more about it. Why it exists, and how it is used to justify the rich and the poor. I would recommend the freakenomics episode. Once you understand it better. You start to see how loaded some of the language and idea society takes as fact are. And by the end you will wonder why are you working so hard.
https://freakonomics.com/podcast/is-the-protestant-work-ethic-real/
Thanks for the thoughtful response. What you said makes total sense.
Boring cage match, informative read though
Too me it sounds like an artist who has been shackled by the system, became mentally unwell and began self medicating with weed, but still prideful enough to know that working for the sake of working is wrong and refuses to do it.
I can relate, it sounds like me. Used to be a prolific musician and artist. Loved using my hands. But life had other plans and a lack of medical access cost me my hands. Yay genetics! Now I can never do what I love again and must accept that I must toil my days away just to survive because I could never make my passions profitable. I don't even know if I have undiagnosed mental issues, can't afford to get that checked or fixed even if I could get it checked.
People who spout that others are lazy are blinded to plight of others.
As far as I know the research on that topic is inconclusive. One study finds the one thing, the next one the other. It can be harmful to associate reward, attention, affection with effort into or the results of tasks. And it can be harmful to not do it. There are various aspects to this and it's a really complex topic which I don't fully grasped myself. I just want to advise to be careful with such statements as this might foster detrimental parenting and education strategies.
Sounds like the dude won the game of life.
At the face of it he seems lazy but there's more likely some deeper emotion that he isn't facing or isnt talking about. This sounds to me like a deeply Avoidant person. Trying to fill life with distractions.
I had known him from when we were children, and it seemed like he just never grew up. It could have been a mental disorder or something along those lines. But he was basically a a 12 year old in a 35 year old body.
I long suspected he might have schizophrenia based on his paranoia and the fact that he was constantly making up nonsensical stories that he swore were true (could have just been a pathological liar). But he refused to help himself after I asked him many times to see a mental health doctor. He lived in a country with free healthcare, so money wasn't the issue.
the mentality your friend has is sadly not uncommon, and when pointing that out to some people they feel attacked and the need to retaliate.
I'm naturally lazy, but have to put effort to provide for my family. you have to give something to get something. Thats something unfortunately foreign to a lot of people who live on the internet.