this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
312 points (95.9% liked)
> Greentext
7517 readers
2 users here now
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour. Less so in my experience irl. Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity. Meet people through this. Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is). Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Never worked for me. Most things I'm interested in have few women doing it, and I'm very shy anyway.
And, if there are any, they've probably heard it all from all the other horny dudes with limited self restraint.
On the other hand, the dude above you got his wife hooked on Babylon 5. In retrospect, not joining the scifi club was probably a mistake.
Met my husband playing an MMORPG. It grew naturally from regular chatting in guild to hanging out and doing random stuff in-game together to feelings. We've been married for over 15 years now.
The trick was that neither of us was looking for romance and treated each other as friends until we gradually came to realize we really liked each other's company more than a friendly amount. I think that's the thing a lot of people get wrong; people get so worried about their love lives that they forget to just treat others as people instead of as potential partners.
Yes. I met my now-wife playing D&D. I created a new group a friend asked if his friend could come. Turned into watching Babylon 5 together outside of the game.
So I SHOULD get that ugly bedsheet with Londo Mollari from aliexpress after all?
It should work. It's the only option other than work and dating sites.
And as someone who's main hobby is video games, it's why I want this hobby to be way more inclusive.
Doesn't work for me. When I'm enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
It's not that you go in with the plan to date. You meet people through activities, maybe hang out with them outside of those activities. Meet their friends, have parties, socialize, and through all that you meet more people and maybe hit it off with someone and date.
The trick is, there is no plan B. You go there for fun activities, and friendships and relationships develop naturally.
Worked for me. Met my wife through online Backgammon.
It worked for me. My wife and I met in a student group in college. Although, that wasn't my motivation for joining the group.
I could definitely see this strategy being more viable in a college setting where everyone is meeting new people and forming new friendships than in general sports clubs etc.
I've only ever met one person through dating apps that I got anywhere with, but over the past year or so I've been making a more concerted effort to keep my social life busy, and I meet people through other people, and those people like me. Works!