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I’ve been somewhat of a fuck up in life, now doing better but still struggle with things. More details below. (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 1 year ago by dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late thirties and before that I was a mess, job to job etc. then got lucky and worked for a company that afforded me the chance to study for my dream job without work pressure.

I am now a software developer and although I went from being the smartest person in the groups I roamed to the dumbest person at work I still have half a foot in my old life of drugs and poor decisions (although the usage has dropped by 95% and I’ve got a good routine and go to bed early).

I feel like a pretentious dick when at a party and someone asks what I do for work, I kinda feel ashamed saying I’m a software developer. Like a fraud I guess.

How to stop this?

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[–] Strayce@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Imposter syndrome is pretty common and it sounds like you've put in a hell of a lot of work turning your life around, so that's something you can and should be proud of.

In the meantime though; remember that often it's not that they actually want to know, they're just looking for common ground or something to talk about. You can be vague or redirect; "I'm in I.T." (not a lie) or "I work for a (whatever industry you dev for) company." (also not a lie) and turn the question back on them. Then ask follow up questions. Most people love to talk about themselves, just give them an excuse.

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 year ago

Hey, this is the second imposter syndrome call out. I will be aware that this is a thing now.

Yeah I will try and be vague unless they prove further.

As for the other point, I am inherently curious so I do prefer to ask lots of questions and learn about others rather than talk about myself.

Thanks.