this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 115 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I have been with wife almost thirty years. I wish it had occurred to me to ask this so many times before saying something. So many times.

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 66 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

I agree. Having a natural tendency to want to solve a problem makes us want to fix it immediately but sometimes it's not the answer, when they just want to vent or someone to listen.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Until their shawarma falls apart every day and they never get past the feelings stage....

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Time for them to head out to pasture

[–] crashoverride@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

There's only so many times I'm willing to listen and not want to fix it. After about the 10th or or 50th or 100th time I've heard the same problem and I'm always willing to listen, but if you're not willing to take one inch towards fixing it or solving it or dealing with it or moving past it, then I'm going to try the fucking fix it for you.

[–] lgmjon64@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I ask my wife and kids if they need someone to help problem solve or just listen. It's been a game changer.

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

“Is this the feeling stage” to me feels like, “are you ready to here solutions or are you going to keep complaining?”.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The idea is sound but the wording needs work.

[–] whelks_chance@feddit.uk 3 points 10 months ago

There's no ordering to the ways it's worded. It doesn't say "ready for solutions yet?" Or "are you still having feelings".