this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Hey there stranger.
I can 100% understand where you're coming from. It's okay if you don't feel comfortable with this kind of humor.
I'm not going to touch on what topics or humor are appropriate in what places, that's a big conversation with very few black and white answers. Please just keep in mind that some of us use dark humor as a way of coping, of reducing the emotional strain by making light of our trauma in a safe way, or by using humor to generate empathy in others who might not have experienced the same trauma. Humor doesn't have to tear things down, it can bring people together. I also don't want to touch on the "rapist shit" comment, so... I won't.
To anyone else reading, please try to be a bit more understanding when people politely ask you to chill. It's usually not their business, especially in public, but please don't immediately get defensive. I have the right to walk down the street screaming at people, as an extreme example, but no one would defend me if I was doing that and someone else asked me to stop. Most people are automatically aware of unwritten social norms and stuff, this is just part of that compromise we work with every day. Sometimes, you should ignore the person asking you to tone it down. Sometimes, you should tone it down.
I usually don't subscribe to the "everyone is right" BS, but I think it's true here. There's no bad person in this, just a difference of how people process things.
Heh, you can tell that you're trying to talk with a reasonable person when the response to your fairly diplomatic comment was to compare you to pedophiles defending Nazi war criminals.
But in any case, I do agree with you that I absolutely could have handled the original response much better by not being an outright smartass twat, but I'm honestly not too sure the outcome would have been any better considering this frankly incredible tantrum going on about rape culture being out of control and calling people who are trying to defuse the situation pedophiles.
I was having a bit of a crummy day and felt like being snarky, but this… whatever this is that's going on is just something else entirely.
I just now came back to this thread and started reading. I was avoiding it, because honestly it was intimidating when I suddenly had a bunch of replies about something I knew might be controversial.
I don't know what you're talking about with Nazis and shit, but I guess I'm about to find out...
Maybe try being less defensive?
I did specifically say that yes, being a snarky asshole was stupid of me and I could have not been one in my initial answer. So, yes, I was an asshole and that's not something I or anybody else should be doing. That's not defensiveness, that's me saying I screwed up.
But can you honestly tell me that you think it's sensible behavior from this other person to compare a completely random onlooker who's trying to defuse this scene to a pedophile defending Nazi war criminals? Like, does that strike you as a good way for someone to handle it when there's a conflict and someone from the outside tries to be diplomatic and calm things down?
I also really don't understand what you're trying to accomplish with these replies. Just popping up replying to my comments with petty insults doesn't seem to paint you in a light that's any better than my initial twattery towards the original commenter. If you want to actually say something, take a moment and formulate your thoughts? Because this… whatever it is you're doing really isn't any better than my original snark, so if you agree with the original commenter than I should have done better (and frankly I agree with them on that point at least), maybe don't take your turn at being an antagonistic asshole just because you feel like venting – the way I did?
Just using the website, and when I'm on mobile I'm not going to type a multi paragraph essay to say one thing.
Right, and is being on mobile a good reason for you to keep this snark going? It seems like you'd rather just choose to be pissed at me or something and continue this ribbing instead of, well, any other option.
If you think that being an asshole is generally not a good thing and that I was wrong to do it, why do you figure you're justified in acting like this?
Part of the core function of the website is to post, if you're tired of my shit stop responding
Heh, right, I don't know why I thought this'd go anywhere, but hey can't fault a person for trying at least 🤷
Well, enjoy being pissed off I guess?
No need to project, I was just voicing dissent. I'm a removed but I didn't even call you a fascist.
I wasn't aware there was a limit on the number of posts we were allowed.
I've resigned myself to the fact that there's just s lot of places on lemmy where "dark humor" and CSAM reign supreme, can't say I blame others for having a stronger response.
Nuance nonces on their way to defend nazi war criminals
I'm just now catching up on this thread. I honestly don't understand what you're talking about. Nazis are bad. War criminals are bad. Sexual assault is bad, and perpetrators are 100% in the wrong, now and forever. Some things are very clear, and some things are nuanced. That's just life.
Morality isn't a free-for-all, and I don't think anything I said would have suggested otherwise.
The reason nuance is important, is because we get actually get Nazis and shit if we make everything an absolute. I'm not advocating for anything goes, I'm saying that some things are complicated and simple answers don't always work. How people use humor is one of those things that can be complicated. I know dark humor definitely helps me cope with and overcome my trauma when I'm in a dark place. It also helps me bond a little bit when I meet someone else will so uses dark humor. It's okay if that's not the same for you. People are different.
I'm not angry or trying to be mean or talk down or anything like that. I also don't automatically think you're a bad person, even though I feel like that insult was uncalled for. And I know some of the other people browsing here were kind of assholes, so, I'm sorry about them.
Anyway we don't need to continue talking about this if you don't want to. The entire thing is kind of stressful for me, so I might not check my messages for a few days anyway. If you do want to talk more, I'm open to that. But if you're just going to be rude, I'll probably not respond.