I feel you.

On your 3rd paragraph, I also have no idea why this happens, but we are not the only ones. Maybe people get the idea we became too self-centered?

I cannot comment on you because I don't know you, but in my case, if I were to be self-critic, I always focus too much on my career, wife, hobbies, household chores, family... friends were always the last priority on my schedule. People pick up on that quickly, idk.

I do have some friends though who are low maintenance and with these I find its much easier to keep friends with. We can go 6 months without seeing each other and its still fun to get together.