this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
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As a guy I sometimes want to bash some dumb heads over with a big pole... And on the other hand, in a bizarre turn of events, I'm strangely "glad" that so many men don't know shit about basic decency and manners (and hygiene and what else women have to endure during dates) - that leaves a lot of nice and successful dating opportunities to the better part of the male population!
Bad joke, I know, the topic has too many dark aspects. Take all that with apologies for all the shit that comes from toxic "manhood" - there's too much misogyny, aggression and violence from frustrated men. My mother was subjected to that, and her children suffered a lot from her violent partners. I've seen it, and I hate it, and in that way it helped me become more sensitive to the female side of my life.
Besides that: There's a lot of good stories regarding dating and relationships. I see dating as an adventure where I get to know interesting people - and interesting can be anything, the nice and the not so nice parts of the world. At least the guy showed you his true colours early in the game so there's not much time lost (I'm a very practical guy, can you tell?). Take your time to shake off the experience, and then start dating again. It somehow is a number game - you don't have to kiss all the frogs in the pond to find an appropriate partner but staying at home won't definitely help find one.
At last an advice from experience (by female friends and by myself): Have sex as early as suitable and as possible when dating and "check the goods". Sex is one of the core aspects of a relationship (in my eyes it's the core aspect), and even the nicest guy will not satisfy your needs longtime (!) if the sex is stale or boring or one-sided (I could tell a lot of bizarre stories from female friends about their experiences with that) - and that can make the relationship stale or boring or one-sided. And please don't try to "fix" any guy in that regard (especially when he is immune to real improvements on his side) - it may turn out that "fixing" wastes your time and your energy, you already have heard that warning.
Have fun :)
Thanks! I got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago, so this was my first dip back in the water. It was a good reminder of why I ended the last relationship. I don't want to settle, don't want to waste time hoping it'll change or that I can fix something. I want the best for myself and those around me. But I know the best way is to just keep putting myself out there when I'm ready. I'm excited, too! It definitely can be fun
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sucks, but I'm glad you're having fun now, too π