this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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I can’t think of any well balanced person who would yell at someone who is neurodivergent for simply behaving in a way that is neurodivergent. Can you give an example of something like this happening? It could be very possible that you’ve just surrounded yourself with the wrong people, or you’ve inadvertently caused someone harm (really the only excusable reason to yell at someone).
I basically listed a bunch of reasons I think Taylor Swift could be neurodivergent on the Swiftie discord server and got completely dogpiled, even tho I did it as tactfully as possible. It happens all the time tho like when I forget something or am not on the same wavelength as my NT wife and she gets frustrated with me for not understanding something.
I’m sorry you had to experience that on discord. Unfortunately the internet has become a forum for everyone’s worst behavior. I think this might be a good metaphor or why masking is sort of pushed on neurodivergent individuals. Imagine the impossible task of uniformly cleaning up everyone’s behavior online. It’s probably one of the most persistent issues experienced online. Instead of changing everyone’s behavior, you change your own to avoid those types of uncomfortable situations. It’s the online version of real world masking. It’s unfortunate and really sucks and I wish it was different, but most humans are wired a certain way, and changing that wiring is equivalent to rewiring human nature, and if we could do that, the world would be a much different place.
As to the situation with your wife, I have this issue as a NT living with my NT wife and I don’t know a person alive who doesn’t. You’ll need to evaluate that situation alone because every relationship is different.