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If you're on Lemmy, you're already set up to "not understand". You probably have no trouble installing a new chat app and using it.
I chat with 20-30 people in my neighborhood, all middle aged adults, and they all have iPhones. If I were to ask, only one would accommodate my request to use a different app, and it'd still be disruptive to his routine. I'm not angry at any of these folks; I blame Apple. Though they have a good product, they are totally behaving like a monopolist.
It's not the features and never has been. It comes preinstalled, it just works, and it works perfectly with most people. No one calls it "iMessage". They call it "texting".
I also just don’t know that many people with iPhones. Sure I see them a lot at work now. But people with money for a nice phone tend to buy foldables and people without money seem to buy cheap androids.
I imagine it’s very different in the USA though. Australia has always been an odd market.