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They miss one important aspect. No matter the relative harm inflicted, no human being has a right to demand the use of another human being's body.
You can't even force marrow or blood donation, let alone kidney or liver. Even after someone is dead, no one has a right to their body without consent. Yet, women are being forced to donate their bodies to someone else?
There is no legal right to that.
I agree with you. Yours is the best argument to counter the pro-life folks. If my brother needs a kidney to survive and I am the only matching donor, I still have the right to refuse and nobody is allowed strap me down and take my kidney by force, even though my refusal is a death sentence for my brother.
The only difference I see is kind of a "trolley problem." In the case of abortion, you're not simply refusing to help and letting nature take its course. Instead you're actively killing a human being in order to free the mother from having to sustain it for a short time.
Any way you look at it, though, the best thing to do is to prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place. But when you look at most pro-lifer's beliefs, you find that they are opposed to birth control, sex education, as well as social services to aid needy children and mothers with prenatal care, food, housing, health care, jobs, childcare, etc. At that point, their hypocrisy is blindingly apparent. It's not really about saving life, it's about punishing women for the sin of enjoying sex.
And in order to punish the "sinners," they are willing to sacrifice the lives and health of women who find themselves in the horrible position of needing to terminate a planned or wanted pregnancy for legitimate medical reasons.
I have actually given birth.
Then I'm stunned that you don't realize the risks.