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Put the fish down.
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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Men on dating sites:
Posting one of the few photos of themselves they have
Posting a photo they have where they're actually happy and feeling a sense of accomplishment
Only to be ignored by any actual women. Guaranteed to be accosted by bots and time wasting sex workers.
I don't know how there are any straight men left on dating sites other than the "top 10%," of course.
I dunno either.
And people wonder why incels are a thing....
Incel is a mindset, plenty of women will look past looks for people who make them laugh, or are interesting, or who do fun things with them.
When you show women 10000 photos and ask them to choose from them, yes they'll go for looks, that's all the signal they get.
My advice to incels is to find some fun hobbies, could be hiking or solitary things, as long as it makes you happy. When you're happy, people will be drawn to you. If you focus on being butter and angry, people will sense that and avoid you.
There isn't any excuse for incel behavior. Those guys are trash.
You misunderstand. I am not excusing the incel community. Any sympathy I had for them died years ago, and frankly I think any guy who thinks women deserve retribution because they won't sleep with them is a fucking coward.
But here's the thing, I think it's a horrific symptom of our societal ills, not a cause. Inceldom is an economic issue first and foremost.
We are a society that profiteers from human misery in so many ways. Men are judged quite harshly for their wealth, status and their ability to provide, even when we've made great strides to bring about equality between the sexes. Wealth inequality has created a predominantly male underclass. This affects many things like being able to afford a home, access to physical and mental healthcare, etc.
Another thing that I think doesn't help is how we've commodified sex in so many ways, but that's a very deep subject that would take me way too long to go into.
Online dating specifically is a monopoly headed by just two parent companies. They want your experience to be as miserable as humanly possible so that they can sucker you into paying the cost of several MMO subscriptions just to use the premium tier of their apps.
The problem isn't women, it's that Bumble Inc and Match Group couldn't give a flying FUCK about the integrity of their platforms. Socially awkward people depend on these apps to find love and their world view is being poisoned by a lack of interest from anybody who isn't a bot, sex worker, scam artist or a lady from the other side of the world seeking to marry their way into their country.
I can understand that. Thank you for expanding on it.
90% of incels would be fine if they would get out of their own heads and stop being misogynistic.
I'm 5'5" and get laid plenty, I've seen ugly guys get laid, guys with small dicks get laid.
It's a personality problem.
I've never taken a selfie but I do have some fish pics
Nobody wants to see dead animals on dating sites. I appreciate you have hobbies but you can just list them as an interest.
I wouldn't have though seeing fish would be such a big deal to some. Then again, never used dating sites so wouldn't know
Oh i don't fish. Nice assumption.
I was talking shit about this to a group of friends one day, saying that how the hell do you think that's a good idea and one of them piped up that he had a picture of him with a fish he caught and justified it as "showing them they can provide food". I might as well have a picture of me in the fucking grocery store with a cart full of food with that logic. I asked him to ask some of his matches what they thought about it but I dont think he ever did. Needless to say I don't think that man has actually gotten laid in a decade.