this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
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My wife's best friend has been banned a couple times and is waiting to appeal her tinder ban again.
Although often justifiable based on the ways these guys have acted/spoke to her, it's usually because she's super ruthless in her response. A guy got mad she wasn't interested in just being a booth call after she said she's there for dates too, said she was after a free meal (paying hadn't come up yet, and she always pays for herself unless a guy insists) and so she tore into him. And she's brutal. Another had ghosted her after rescheduling on the date twice and saying stuff came up and that he's busy (days after the fact, no check in or nothing) and so she told him that's some horse shit and that he's a little bitch that needs to get his life in order if he's gonna stand somebody up twice after begging for a second chance.
She definitely could be nicer sometimes, but from what I've read from her it's no different than how I see a lot of dudes talk on there, I think those guys just got their feelings hurt more than standard tinder girls do.
So someone who can't control their temper got banned. The system works.
I don't see where the temper is lost there. I can say your reading comprehension is non-existant at best, or you simply can't read at worst; none of that would be uncontrolled temper. It is very much pointing things out without sugarcoating.
If you're "tearing into" people on a dating app then you have no business being on dating apps. I've definitely been ghosted and shit talked on dating apps and I haven't ever snapped at someone over it. If you're not mature enough to just block (and report if applicable) and move on then you should not be on dating apps. "Tearing into" people over dating app BS tells me that this is someone who can't control their temper.
Yeah it's a bit amusing because for most guys this is just the default dating app experience. After wading through six layers of bots and catfish you finally match a real person who isn't outwardly insane or like missing three limbs, and then they just unmatch an hour before the date with no explanation.
This is also from the biased viewpoint from the sister's best friend, a lot worse objectively
I don't know man, I think temper is having the self control to consider your words BEFORE they fall out of your mouth, modifying it to take into account the circumstance and the recipient and all that, and THEN saying it.
In your example it would depend if your friend was being mean in the heat of the moment, or deliberately deciding to be so brutal. Either way, your friend doesn't sound like a very nice person to be around.
Oh, it's not my friend. I'm just a lemmy passer by :)
All I'm saying is - being an asshole does not have a prerequisite of losing your temper. On top of that - some people ask for it.
In OP's example the other side is wasting time. That is one thing I do not tolerate.
As to people not being nice - what about the time waster? Is he nice? Is it nice? I feel like people are sticking to words too much and actions too little.
Well, being an asshole doesn't mean you lost your temper, no, but it does mean you're an asshole, which might be worse. I'd rather be around someone who's only an ass when they're upset vs all the time. From the OP, would I personally have banned her, no probably not, but we also don't know what words were actually spoken from either side. My guess is that it was a bit spicier than portrayed if she's been banned twice
I can see why she's single LMAO