this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2024
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I also desire, nay; demand a content ID system, whereby my uniquely distinct farts are fingerprinted so that they cannot be used in media without my consent. A fart fingerprint? A fartprint.
The opposite of that would of course be Disney copyrighting and patenting their own fart sounds, which is an added bonus, as we've then effectively made fun of intellectual property through intellectual property systems.
Farts are too hard to produce on demand, but... did you know there are essentially no two identical anal sphincters? And most people keep them secured between their buttocks, instead of stamping them over everywhere they go like they do with finger prints, or even hold them in the open like they do with their irises.
Anal ID, is the secure biometric ID of the future! (uhm, "touch to unlock")
Alternatively, BellybuttonBiome ID. Seems like no two people have exactly the same set of microorganisms crawling in their bellybuttons either.