this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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Save up, go on a nice holiday overseas.
Save up, buy a house.
Take up a new expensive hobby like cycling or photography.
Donate to charity.
Donate to worthy political causes.
Get a dopamine hit from seeing number go up.
So many options.
Fund a random Twitch streamer's life while you stay at home doing nothing.
Buy a politician and actually change shit.
Buying a politician is expensive, here at Bribes.inc we’ve been trying to come up with a solution to achieve your goals for a lower price, and I’m proud to announce our new product, The Middle Ranking Bureaucrat. With it you’ll be able to perform all your goals at a fraction of a cost and a lot less risk. Want to evade taxes? Middle Ranking bureaucrat does that. Commit fraud and identity theft? We got you covered. Change how often a law is actually applied so you can advocate for its expansion or retraction? You bet. Call now 555-555-555 or come and talk to use at any of our agencies
That's a slightly more direct way of phrasing it, yes.
So You Want to Bribe a Politician
Put money into retirement.
On average people need over $1,000,000 in it to retire comfortably now.
Become a patron of the arts and help some students through university.
Work less.
Withdraw it in coins to throw at poor people.
A lot of these are high effort and arguably not woth doing
Are you okay?
I wasn't talking about myself. See, if anon didn't even think about traveling for example, he probably will need a passport, vaccinations, foreign payment methods, luggage, etc. That takes a person with a full time job weeks to sort out.
Yes. Buy lots and lots of options.