this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024

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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon is out of ideas (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 9 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] wellee@lemmy.world 118 points 9 months ago (3 children)

You could move out of your mother's basement

[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 43 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Wait you can?

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 51 points 9 months ago

not in this economy

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

That's crazy talk!

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 80 points 9 months ago (8 children)

Save up, go on a nice holiday overseas.

Save up, buy a house.

Take up a new expensive hobby like cycling or photography.

Donate to charity.

Donate to worthy political causes.

Get a dopamine hit from seeing number go up.

So many options.

[–] Omgarm@lemmy.world 78 points 9 months ago

Fund a random Twitch streamer's life while you stay at home doing nothing.

[–] turtlepower@lemm.ee 15 points 9 months ago (3 children)

~~Donate to worthy political causes.~~

Buy a politician and actually change shit.

[–] Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee 9 points 9 months ago

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[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Put money into retirement.

On average people need over $1,000,000 in it to retire comfortably now.

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 69 points 9 months ago (8 children)

Start playing Magic. Your money will go POOF in no time.

[–] archon@sh.itjust.works 31 points 9 months ago (2 children)

See also: 40k minis, aka plastic crack.

[–] RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Alternatively DnD minis, they are mostly cheaper, so you can buy even more!

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[–] Neil@lemmy.ml 58 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I've been in this situation.

Get married to a single mom and you'll be broke again in less than a year and in debt the next. That's the quickest way to lose all of your money.

[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 28 points 9 months ago

Didn't go the single mom route, but a wife and kids takes care of the free time and money problem.

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[–] minibyte@sh.itjust.works 49 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Max 401k, Roth IRA, and HSA contributions. Buy a fleshlight.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (3 children)

There are way too many comments in this thread for it to be okay that yours is the only one mentioning investing for retirement.

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Just goes to show you how few of your peers are actually saving for retirement

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[–] Drinvictus@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Don't forget the kids' 529

[–] Kimjongtooill@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago

I don't think Anon will have to worry about that one...

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[–] Faceman2K23@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Could even pay for porn at that point, crazy!

[–] miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml 16 points 9 months ago

I'm all for it.

Support ethical porn sites that meet their actresses and actors with the respect they deserve.

[–] Kraivo@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Depends on character traits of anon.

Some invest/gamble

Some hoard wealth

Some uses it fight boredom like going to places, travelling, hobbies, etc.

Some try sharing with others or straight up doing charities

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[–] BudgieMania@kbin.social 29 points 9 months ago

If you are young and there's nothing you really want to do with a significant amount of money, your emergency savings are decently big, and you don't intend to make a significant purchase in the near to mid future, then you find yourself a tax-free retirement account, a world index fund and an S&P 500 index fund and distribute money across them with the priority being reaching whatever is the max in the first one

[–] fury@lemmy.world 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Save an emergency fund of 6-12 months of expenses. You never know when the rug will get pulled out from under you.
Pay off all debts.
Save at least 15% of income into retirement accounts (not counting any matches).
Give to charity or random internet persons.
Buy a house.
Pay it off.
Max all retirement accounts, invest in some mutual funds, give more.

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[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Invest it until you can quit job. The old people call that retiring.

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[–] shani66@ani.social 20 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Unironically anon has cracked the big secret of capitalism; the end goal doesn't matter until someone is trying to steal it from you, and they will try because some people are sick in the head

[–] wrath_of_grunge@kbin.social 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

the big secret is that money is not the end goal. money is merely a tool to let you do other things you want to do. it's not an end, just a means.

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[–] DoomBot5@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

Vacations, where every trip costs like a mid range gaming pc.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 18 points 9 months ago

Send me $400 to buy a telescope lmao

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

Buy some more avocado toast?

[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 12 points 9 months ago

Be like me: so anxious at the prospect of running out of money you just never spend it.

Need new clothes? Is that really a need?

Want to try a hobby? If you don’t like it you’ll feel pretty silly having invested in it.

But a gaming PC? The parts will be obsolete in a year anyways.

Nice cookware? What’s wrong with ye older stuff, it still works just don’t use the bad side of the spatula or you’ll scratch the pan.

[–] Blackmist@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Buy a house and stop mooching off your parents?

[–] skeeter_dave@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago

I bought a house and my parents moved back in with me.

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Give some of it to poor people. Being disabled in this country sucks.

[–] franklin@lemmy.world 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Use the money to lobby politicans to pass social assistance for the disabled

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Google house

[–] sus@programming.dev 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

We are sunsetting Google House in accordance with our wider goal of shutting down everything. You will be evicted on march 2nd, 2024 and all buildings will be demolished between march 31 and june 1st. Thank you for being with us for this project!

Why god?

We launched Google House 7 years ago as an attempt to make shareholders think we are still capable of doing something useful. As we focus on making new short-lived products to perpetuate this lie, we no longer have the resources to maintain our rent collection system.

What will you do with the land?

We didn't think this far but the current plan is to leave them as gravel sanctuaries.

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[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 7 points 9 months ago

holy hell. I'll never afford

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

People when you tell them about saving your money

[–] datelmd5sum@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

cocaine

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[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Well, life keeps kicking me in the balls and I currently need about $5000 to get back on track thanks.

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[–] unreasonabro@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Dildo collection

[–] Rosco@sh.itjust.works 8 points 9 months ago

Travel around.

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 8 points 9 months ago

Donate to Lemmy :)

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