I don't think I really need to explain much, their admins are transphobic. 
https://hexbear.net/post/1587342
Snowe, an admin, complained about a transgender person being offended over being misgendered. Ategon made an apology post but keeps snowe on, no public apologies from snowe to the transgender people affected.
Textbook 
note: conversation about Ategon's use of the word triggered edited out, might be misunderstanding, need clarified
Hey im Ategon, wanted to clarify some things about the situation
Used triggered in the sense I typically do with coding which is the action of triggering an event to occur. Ive edited it to started to make it more clear
snowe currently has limited internet which is mostly why ive been handling everything and im the one doing things like making the posts, etc. I was able to talk with him about the situation but there hasnt really been time for him to publicly talk about it properly
the comment from snowe was due to it not being relevant to the initial argument rather than targeting the content of the pronoun response itself, It is ambiguous when reading though. Ive been mostly talking to blahaj for now since thats been taking all my free time for the start of the day but im going to say here sorry to you guys as well for this situation happening since it was mostly hexbear users in the conversation
Your transphobe partner should apologize and step down rather than having you do it.
It's cowardly and pathetic.
Gotcha, thanks.
I can accept this partially (and will only agree to it if the other trans people in that thread, principally of which, @Kuori@hexbear.net, agrees to accept it) , though the comments in the instance admin thread are vile, and many are attacking @Kuori@hexbear.net and calling her an idiot or a troll for wanting to be gendered correctly. Will this be rectified, will bans be handed out to obvious transphobes?
i think it's reasonable to accept @Ategon@hexbear.net's apology here. they seem to be operating in good faith, despite their...let's call it potentially incautious word choices. that said, two(ish) things:
firstly, while i don't care if people insult me on a personal level (most of you are well aware civility is not high on my list of concerns), the attitude towards trans people's concerns in the linked thread is not encouraging. calling me an idiot is fine, i'll cop to that and gladly so. but letting blatantly false accusations like "hexbear people aren't even trans! actually they're transphobic" stand is flatly not. as well, the cries of "i can't believe blahaj is defeding us over such inconsequential matters!" don't speak well of some of the users over on .dev.
secondly, some of our users (like you and cromalin but emphatically not me!) spent a lot of effort trying to educate snowe, only to get back a load of arrogant horseshit. rather than apologizing to any of the people actually involved, snowe chose to...apologize to the admin of a completely unrelated instance? to make myself perfectly clear: i don't necessarily feel entitled to any sort of apology, but i do think if apologies are going to be handed out then a) snowe should be the one doing the apology tour and b) it should be towards our users, since they were the ones actually involved (as ategon acknowledged here). as far as my personal involvement in the matter, i'd just want snowe to stop and listen to trans people when a bunch of us are all saying the same thing. i understand my attitude towards them set an antagonistic tone but stubbornly digging in your heels when marginalized people are trying to explain something they know more about than you do is Not Good. since snowe seems to view themselves as being an "ally" i hope this is something they internalize sooner rather than later.
i'd also like to genuinely apologize to the folks here for sparking off such a firestorm. i can't help but feel this could have been at least partially avoided if i had maybe chosen to pump the brakes a little bit and been less aggressive out of the gate. it's...something i'm working on.
(sorry too if any of this is unclear or rambling, it's 4 am and i'm the living dead)
To your first point: I'm glad it wasn't just me. reading through that thread was mildly upsetting. Just more "damn those sensitive trans."
it's definitely not just you! it is gross and very telling as to the general attitude over there
i honestly think that's more concerning than my dust-up with their admin bc changing an individual's mind is far easier than changing the mindset of an entire community. without a concerted moderation effort like we had during the great transphobe purge i unfortunately don't really see it improving
Im trying to deal with the situation but this has been a pain to try to manage especially since its workdays, going to try to deal with the uncivil comments in the thread. Usually we do a multiple strike system for this kind of thing since people can change
I appreciate the workload thing, genuinely. that said, this isn't the first time we've run into transphobia from snowe. and generally, asking minorities who are already being targeted by the society at large to suffer more in what should be a safe space in order to protect the feelings of someone in the majority just flatly sucks. in the politest terms, I encourage you to reflect on this.
that thread has unmoderated speculation about whether or not we're actually trans - an accusation we all receive from medical professionals, right-wing political actors, and our own abusive families. it's triggering for a lot of us. an admin for your instance setting it all off by telling us what we should and shouldn't be hurt by is a nasty cherry on a shit cake. does your instance stand up to protect the marginalized or will you allow latent bigotry to drive us all out?
these are real questions you need to answer for yourself - not us. if you fail to act, you will not have any trans or otherwise queer users (except those who make alts for specific purposes). is that the kind of community you wish to foster - one that exists purely for cishet white dudes hot off of reddit and the orange hellsite? moderation is a powerful tool you can actually use to shape your community - it neither stunts growth nor speech. the people you drive away are people you almost certainly don't want to attract - you're going to have a nazi bar problem. excessive tolerance for the intolerant only engenders intolerance.
can you link me to those comments with the speculation about that. I dealt with things but might have missed some of them but ive been trying to juggle doing a lot of things rn and they havent been sent into the reports
I'm sorry but no, I'm not going back into that thread. it was painful to read the first time and I'm not wading back into it. this also misses the point of what I said.
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The comment that was removed was:
You gave the reason for its removal as:
What do you mean by this? In what way does this transphobe have a point?
sorry my bad with that wording. Point there is referring to them having a point they are attempting to argue which is the second part of that comment (the they section). Point in the context just refers to an argument rather than the supporting of an argument. Realize now that it can be interpreted pretty differently from what i intended edit: updated it to just be the be civil part
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