That's okay, good for you! Truthfully I don't super care, but rock on. Just pointing out that everyone who read my question assumed I was talking about men. Dude is absolutely not a gender neutral term, that's just a thing dudes say when we live in a dude centric world where it's assumed to be the default person and they don't want to think about it. Same thing works with stuff like "Hey guys", ask them if they have had sex with a guy.

The whole thing is the same energy as saying white people "I don't see race."