make sure you ask your trans/non binary friends what they do and don't like to be called ๐ it can mean a lot, if your unaware
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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How many dudes have you fucked?
That's okay, good for you! Truthfully I don't super care, but rock on. Just pointing out that everyone who read my question assumed I was talking about men. Dude is absolutely not a gender neutral term, that's just a thing dudes say when we live in a dude centric world where it's assumed to be the default person and they don't want to think about it. Same thing works with stuff like "Hey guys", ask them if they have had sex with a guy.
The whole thing is the same energy as saying white people "I don't see race."
Maybe you should just be a decent fucking person and not go out of your way to call people things they don't want to be called. How fucking hard is it to just not say shit that hurts people? If someone asks you to not call them something and your response is a paragraph about how it's actually OK, you're a shit person and a shit ally
If I don't know a person doesn't like something without first finding out, it's pretty fucking hard to avoid the issue. I will act like myself and adjust as I learn more about the person. I ask that they be as patient with me as I am with them. If they take offense before teaching a stranger their basics, they were never trying to be friendly in the first place.
This is legit all I'm asking for. It would be rude to get all over someone for saying dude the way they normally do. It's still nice to ask first, or at least as you first call them dude or whatever, but as long as you don't insist on it when they ask you not to you're good :3