this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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There is no such thing as a Stupid Question!
Don't be embarrassed of your curiosity; everyone has questions that they may feel uncomfortable asking certain people, so this place gives you a nice area not to be judged about asking it. Everyone here is willing to help.
- ex. How do I change oil
- ex. How to tie shoes
- ex. Can you cry underwater?
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I can't say if it's a good idea to tell them that or not.
What I can say though is that I've been in your situation, and it's a really hard place to be. You want to help them and be there for them, you want to be a friend for them, and you are, but they're also taking advantage of you.
Take it from me and what I had to learn. They've built you up to be their go-to person, that you'll always be there, but that's not a healthy mindset. It is completely okay to set boundaries. I know you said you can say no to them, but you can officially be firm with them, telling them that you'd love to talk with them, but it'll need to wait until you are available.
For me, my person kept taking more the more I gave, to the point where they called me while I was at dinner with family, and then sent me a text immediately after guilting me for not answering. They also started telling me that I owed it to them to pick up, that no matter what I'm doing I should always be available to answer the phone and tell them I'm not available. I told them that's impossible, what if I'm in a meeting, or out of service, or driving? They said it didn't matter.
That's where these people go, they'll keep going until you set some hard boundaries. Those can be some hard times to enforce that, but it's important to. What they're doing to you isn't fair. It's great you're such a good friend who wants to be there, the least they can do is be a good friend and respect that.
Oh man, that's a horrible position to be in. I appreciate the advice, and I hope you're out of there and have healthier friendships.