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WE WILL DUMP YOUR MAPLE SYRUP INTO THE OCEAN!
GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!
Ok, if you want to remain Alaskan, recite the Bible in Rosski!
The devil is a rosski? We speak Alaskan in Alaska!
Ok speak the first words of the Bible in one of Alaska's indigenous language...
Why the bible though? Wouldn't it be better to talk about the Raven in one of the Alaskan languages?
Just speak that language anyhow or something else, you toton... OU JE VAIS DECALISSER TON YUEULE EN SAINT CIBOIRE, PUTAIN D'ALASKA DE MERDE.... J'EN MARRE!
Fine, the ultimatum:
If yes to being colonized by Canada and getting Poutine, breath...
If no, speak a different language associated with Alaska, like Russian or Aleut, and recite some sort of text, like the "Bible", "the Raven", or better, "387.44 million miles" speech by AM in "I have no mouth and I must scream"....
Including the Russian colonizer language opens the door to other colonizer languages, you absolute ptarmigan, and English has longer ties to this land than Russian!
Once upon a time, long ago, there lived two girls who lived in a large tribal village. The two of them were cousins who loved the moon like no other but each other.
On the evenings when the moon touched the sky, the two girls would to go out to the beach and play the night away.
Each every night they played sang to each other claiming the moon as their husband.
And each every night they spent the the hours gazing and longing for the love of the man in the moon.
They sheltered themselves in a propped up a iqyax to protect themselves from the elements, and through out the night would change positions many times so they could always face the moon.
As morning dawned they would return home, which upon their return their parents always questioned them worryingly about their whereabouts.
The two girls told their parents how they had spent the whole night watching the moon walking across the night sky until it passed from sight.
They would tell all of their family often of how much they loved the moon, and how they themselves were always wishing they were moons as well.
One evening, the two girls went once more to the beach again, but with the other young people of their tribe. They played together until night came, then all the young people of the tribe returned home.
But the two girls remained.
As the moon vanished away out of their sight, one girl complained to the other,
"Why did the moon hide from us so suddenly? I like playing with him and enjoy his soft moonlight on my skin."
"I do, too," said the other girl to her dismay, for it was not yet middernight yet the moon was already hidden behind the clouds.
Until this moment they had not noticed how disheveled their appearance had become from playing earlier in the evening as their gazes fell from the moonless sky onto each other.
"You have been professing your love for me,"
They heard the voice of a young man, startling them as a beautiful man as silver as the full moon approached them from the darkness.
He said. "I have observed you every night from the sky and know your steadfast love for me, therefore, I have come for you to take as my bride. But since my work is very hard, I can only take one of you--the more patient one."
Both girls begged to be chosen by the moon for both love the moon greatly.
Finally he said, "I have decided to take both of you. Now close your eyes and keep them closed."
So he grabbed each by their long hair, and in the next moment they were rushing through the air for what seemed like an endless time.
The patience of one cousin slowly wore thin.
As she opened her eyes, she felt herself drop down, down, down, leaving her hair behind in his hands.
When she finally saw the world around her, she had found herself beside the iqyax where she and her cousin had left it.
The patient cousin kept her eyes closed the entire time and in the morning, as she felt the warmth of the sun, found herself in a comfortable ulaagamax, inside the home of the moon.
From then on she lived as the wife of the moon, happy loving him as he came and went from their home, where they slept during the day, as he worked all night.
Fine, that's at least something. I've confirmed it's an Aleut story, so fine, you can remain under the statehood of America...
I wouldve declared a maoist guerilla war that would've been waged from the pacific to the atlantic if you hadn't