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this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Depends. Are they nice before they're honest? Or are they nice while also being honest?
They aren't mutually exclusive labels, so you might just be a positive person that doesn't pick up on nefarious clues so well and thusly aren't going to recognize the kind of casual dishonesty being referenced here.
I think you may be assuming gaslighting is something only done by the wicked. Some "nice" people, who I think they're referencing, will be "nice" in incredibly cruel ways. Those are the people to avoid. People who will call you "friend" and be friendly, but then not even mention or invite you to their wedding, or ghost YOU over drama in their life ... all forms of people running friendships dishonestly while still putting a "nice" front on is what I think of when I hear bad nice guy. There are A LOT of them depending on what social circles you roam; people jockying for social status using kind words without kind action.
Yes, people universally like "nice" people, but not all "nice" people are good people.
While people can be polite and honest, it is clear that they are talking about someone who cares far more about one than the other.
I know, I'm just trying to describe the type of person who is nice but not good, since they said they cannot think of someone like that.