this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I legitimately find it difficult to long term stay annoyed with people who have wronged me. I have close friends and family telling me how ridiculous it is I'm still in touch and friendly with people I used to consider friends but briefly cut them out after they treated me horribly. I can see the logic and feel as though I SHOULD hate certain people for how they've been in the past but I just don't feel any anger or resentment and am quite happy to just forget the past. Is this weird and/or unhealthy?

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[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 4 points 1 year ago

I'm a serial bridge burner. That doesn't mean I hold a grudge. I cut people out of my life if they've done something that shows me I can't trust them anymore, or that they don't care about me at all. If we cross paths (accidentally) again, I'll be polite but not friendly.

Keeping friends for me is an investment, and holding a grudge is also an investment. Friendships give me positive returns, grudges only losses.

What I don't understand is people who keep in touch with those who wronged them, and also hold a grudge. That's the definition of toxic relationships. The only exception would be with family you just can't cut ties easily.

Now if you are the type that forgives and forgets easily, well, hats off to you. It all depends on what the situation was though. Sometimes one is surrounded by people who like to keep of these toxic relationships in their lives, and of course, they won't understand that you can forgive and forget.