this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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You've soared off on such a wildly different tangent here that it's scarcely possible to even try responding to any of this. It has almost no bearing on what was being discussed.
No one here told you that we cannot ever engage with conservatives. For someone who likes to immediately throw the word "strawman" at people, you are incredibly energetic about building them.
But you will not ever successfully engage with them if your starting point is to agree to be the kind of person they want you to be. Because the moment you do that, they will move the goalposts. Why wouldn't they? They're already getting exactly what they want. They have no reason to engage with you.
Our existence is not negotiable. You're more than welcome to sit and break bread with people who hate you. That's a good and noble endeavour, and it can indeed be very successful. But the moment you decide that the behaviour of the entire LGBTQ community has to be policed in such a way as to cater to the comfort of people who hate us, you have sided with our oppressors. You are more than welcome to dress and act a certain way if it gets you in their door. That's fine. But you don't get to go around telling everyone else that they're wrong for existing freely in a way that makes conservatives uncomfortable. Because they will keep on moving that line of discomfort until there is no more space for us to exist at all.
I'll admit I'm prone to strawman arguments like most everyone, but when I do, they are often born of others' false equivalencies based on incorrect assumptions about what I said.
What I'm suggesting is not to break bread with oppressors to find out how we can make the LGBT community more palatable to them. I clearly didn't get my point across if that's what you thought.
Do you think Daryl Davis approached KKK members asking them how he could make African Americans more palatable to them?
Of course not. It's not about changing us or any of our behavior, private or public. It's about the fact that Pride should be a place to welcome people who are ready to be lovingly proven wrong, and finding a way to approach them where they feel comfortable sitting with us for a civil dialog, so that WE can change THEM.
I mean, if the LGBT community was really passionate about changing minds, you'd think they would once think about whose minds they're trying to change!
Silent bullies turn into aggressive bullies when they feel attacked.
But they turn into allies when you approach them with humility and acceptance, while telling them they're wrong. And I know I sound radical, but thrusting a bunch of leather strap ons in their faces and yelling "don't like it? get fucked!" isn't exactly my idea of a humble dialog! Is it for you?
Otherwise they will never listen. That's all I'm arguing for here. Not for others to conform to my thinking. Not for anyone to accept my terms for what is acceptable queer behavior outside of Pride.
Outside of Pride, idgaf what any queers do and I don't want to police them. I'm asking them to take a second to practice what they preach: consider the benefits of the larger group instead of being selfish at Pride.