this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
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https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/dating-coaches-online-pushing-traditional-gender-roles-rcna143464

Simmons, the researcher, said these influencers are selling a lifestyle that offers a tantalizing alternative for women aiming to escape a life of dead-end 9-to-5s, especially in what they see as a bleak economic climate. And many are tapping into their resentment against a brand of feminism that hasn’t felt inclusive, or that simply hasn’t fulfilled its promise.

“But I’m not sure that turning yourself into a project to seduce a man is empowering at all,” Simmons said. “It just provides a kind of quick and easy solution to a few women, but it doesn’t liberate women as a whole.”

mmm... if only there was a political project that liberates men and women together as a whole, instead of just few. Oh, well.

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[–] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

So I don't disagree with your assertion that the apps are a dumpster fire and terrible for everyone but:

I also don't think that the idea of "Just go ask someone you fancy in person when you go out" is really a viable alternative for multiple reasons.

For one: having trouble finding it right now but there was a poll I saw a while back that a majority of women polled consider being asked out in public "sexual harassment". Not annoying or inappropriate mind you but straight up harassment. Anecdotally I know multiple women in my life that all hate being approached in public and especially today have to do an impromptu threat assessment on whether or not the man is going to be able to take rejection well. That isn't even getting into whether or not they're looking for a romantic partner in the first place.

For two: meeting new people in today's atomized neoliberal hell as a working adult is hard. Like....really hard. I feel like I shouldn't even have to elaborate on this especially on this site.

The apps are so awful but at least when you match with someone in them you both know you're looking for some kind of relationship and they at least found you attractive at first glance.