this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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So, how do you bidet to squeaky clean without touching your shit covered asshole? I know Indian people run water down the small of their back with a pitcher and wash that way, with their hand. Then they wash their hand. I'd like to avoid getting shit on my hands.
When you're using a bidet with the underseat nozzle, imagine you're washing dog shit off the sidewalk, except you're the sidewalk. You do the bidet dance - shimmy your butt side-to-side as you scoot back-to-front. Fiddle with the strength of the stream until you find what's still comfortable, but strong enough to knock all the poop loose. The sprayer-and-hose style of bidet means you don't have to shimmy, but you have to be a bit more careful where you aim it. Blot dry with TP. Some TP works better with a bidet because it doesn't disintegrate as easily when wet.
You still use toilet paper. Except now it's just for drying
Ok I know that I have to dry my pooper when it's wet, I don't know why I'm getting down voted it was a serious question, my candor is abrasive maybe? I just don't see how you can wash your ass without touching it, and I'm looking for technique recommendations so I can use one of these things.
It's a sprayer pointed at your butt from under the toilet seat. You don't need to touch it. You just turn it on.
Yeah but I just don't see how it gets everything.
It does. It's high pressure. Imagine a super soaker stream right on your butthole. It's not some weak ass trickle of water like a water fountain or something
Would you trust the cleanliness of your butthole after using it to dry it off with your bath towel?
Are you currently trusting the cleanliness of your butthole after using only dry toilet paper?
No actually. I hop in the shower after every shit.
Well you can't really beat a shower after pooping, that's true. But I don't always poop just once a day, or necessarily shower every day of the week...so it'd be a pretty large waste of water/time for me to do that, personally.
If you shower after pooping, what do you do when pooping away from home? In that case, washing your butthole with water from the sink and then cleaning your hands/arms would be more efficient. You may need to loosen your butthole and expand your anal conceptions?
When I'm away from home I do the best I can.
It doesn't. Not without being sprayed so strongly it's really painful. Just use your hand and then wash well. You'll be fine.
But I'm looking for a hands free solution!
It is hands free wiping, but with a spray nozzle. When I wiped with only TP, the chances of getting poop on my wrist/hand was much greater. Now it's virtually none, and feels cleaner when you're walking around later