The Onion

Shedding light on the possible reasons for a dip in such news coverage, a report released Friday found that school shootings were either way down or too depressing for the media to cover. “Really, there are two possibilities here: It could be that there’s been some remarkable progress on getting guns out of the hands of potential school shooters, or it might be that journalists and editors all collectively decided the problem was too painful and intractable and turned away entirely,” read the report,